Apparently I have to have a boyfriend to know what I am???

Why boyfriend? Why not girlfriend? :eusa_danc

No, you don't need to be in any relationship to know or to even be sure. While I sometimes think, "what's the point in calling myself bi if I don't have the experience?", the truth is that sexuality is not something you put on a resume. It's simply part of being you.

Think of it this way: you can express interest in playing music without anyone ever saying, "how do you know you like music if you've never picked up a guitar?" You don't have to. It's an interest. Saying you're bisexual is saying you have an interest. Straight people get to talk nonstop about their crushes and fantasies without ever needing a litmus test; gay and bi people are no different.

You can bring these points up to her. If she's still not receptive, I'd give it time.

 

Thats the most rediculous thing ive ever heard....
Shes just trying to hold on to the fact that you could be 'straight' just 'confused'.
Alot of people said that to me when i came out too...."O no dont be silly, you just havent met the right man yet!"
It drove me mad tbh:bang: yes i have only had two girlfriends since coming out as gay two years ago....but no being in the closet for 30years does not mean ive been 'dating the wrong men for thirty years!'
and one day my family will finally get that!

You know you are equally attracted to both genders, you know in your heart you go for personality and a connection rather then gender; so with all due respect to your mum just let her figuire it out in her own time....please dont waste time trying to prove anything to anyone, or let them tell you you dont know who you want till youve dated/slept with them.

 

No one is allowed to define you except yourself. If you like boys and girls then that is how it is and no amount of crazy reasoning that your family does can change your sexuality. You should tell her you are what you are and nothing can change that.

 

I second this part. Relationships are for after you've recognized what your sexuality is, otherwise people would be running around going after everyone and that clearly isn't the case. The people you are attracted to is inside you from an early age and no amount of experience is needed, though it takes us until our teen or later years to fully understand who we are in that department.

 

And even if you think that makes sense, you should do and go for what feels right to you. I can tell you that I definitely feel sometimes inside myself that I'm still waiting for a boyfriend to make sure that I am gay...and until then I'm still not 100% sure. It's a bit different but you don't have to have a relationship to prove something to anybody, even yourself. Maybe just express to her that in the end, it comes down to who you are and who you are attracted to and that one relationship won't be any kind of decision or realization or proof--it would just be one relationship for you.

 

your mum did not have to date a man to know that her orientation was straight, you do not need to date a guy ( or a girl ) to know your orientiation is bisexual. ( lets say your mum ) would not need to date a woman to know she wasnt attracted to them! you know what you feel without having to date first. i would just say that to her.

 

You absolutely do not need to be in a relationship to know your orientation. He'll, I've never even kissed anyone and I know that I'm pansexual. You know your feelings better than anyone else, and if you're sure, you're sure. Others are just trying to convince you and themselves that this is a phase.

 

Bullshit is what it is

 

Ah, the old "how do you know you're homosexual/bisexual if you've never even been with a man/woman?" routine. It's just ignorance talking. It'll eventually fade away, as long as you respectfully educate her in the years to come.

I got that whole bit from both parents when they found out I was gay (I was 18). They were convinced I wasn't actually gay because I'd never had sex with a woman. But, as we all know, that's a silly argument. I've never had cat feces for lunch, either, but I'm pretty sure that's not my meal of choice.

 

That is

 

It is annoyingly common for people to have that "prove it" opinion when a person either isn't attracted to the opposite sex, or is attracted to both sexes. My mom believes a person's sexuality is based on the sex of the person they are dating(unless it is a gay person in the closet in which case they are gay no matter who they date) so if a woman dates a man, she is straight, if she dates another woman she is a lesbian. My boyfriend is male and I'm female so she thinks we are both straight, and I have a bisexual cousin who is married to a man so she too is straight in the eyes of my mom. My mom's opinion is that a bisexual person "just needs to pick one" and once they have chosen an assumed life long partner, that's it. Obviously this is wrong, I'm still bi, you're still bi, my boyfriend and my cousin are still bi. What I do is I don't discuss it with her, sometimes it comes up in conversation(as it does with anyone) and she rolls her eyes or makes a small comment, but I just allow her to think whatever, its not preferred, I'd prefer to educate people but sometimes people are stuck in their ways and if you are lucky to simply get an eye roll rather than a damnation to hell then sometimes its for the best to just live your life and date whoever you want, you don't have to prove anything to anyone.

 

Yeah, you don't have to prove your sexuality. You don't have to actually be with anyone to know your sexuality. You know who you are attracted to; no one can belittle your sexuality based on anything! I knew I was attracted to both men and women before I had even dated anyone. But it was confusing for me at the time. It's good you have your sexuality figured out, and don't let anyone try to convince you otherwise. You know who you are and who you like; no one else.

 

I came out yesterday to my parents, and their response was basically "you're too young" coupled with I need to have been in a relationship to know. Ugh.
And with a hint of "you're just horny".
Also, 300th post!

 

I remember seeing this show a couple of years back... Basically it went like this:

Boy: dad i think i'm gay.
Dad: nonsense, how do you know you're not heterosexual if you've never had sex with a woman?
Boy: well, how do you know you're not gay if you've never had sex with a guy?
Dad: you're grounded!

... or something like that. It's simply hard for heterosexuals to understand anything that differs from their reality.

 

When I first told my folks at age 28 they insisted that I can't possibly know until I have been with both. They said it was a phase, that everybody feels that way, so on so forth. 28 and it's a phase still? Meh.

Your mom just cares about you, she doesn't want you getting hurt and some people don't accept lgbt people. I know it seems a bit presumptuous, but I really believe it comesfrom a noble place.