Best friends who say F*gg*t...

I agree. I had my step brother deliberately say it to try and hurt me after I confided in him and it feels like an ugly filthy word to me. While the connotations of hate are attached to it I don't really accept that someone is "taking it back" or some bullshit. They are perpetuating it. I'm sorry I don't have much for advice other than telling them that you really do not like it.

 

Ugh! They shouldn't try to justify it after you just said you didn't like it! Why can't people understand that you have to establish beforehand that it's okay to talk like that, and if someone is bothered and says so, you oughtn't persist!

 

I have the same problem. People just dont understand how much it hurts until they are on the recieving end. Its like the N word, no matter how you use it, it is intended to strike that the very soul of the person on the recieving end. It's also horrible to be used as an insult.

I like to point out that a faggot is simply a traditional English food made from pig's heart, liver and fatty belly meat or bacon minced together, with herbs added for flavouring and sometimes bread crumbs. (One of the slightly less desirable English foods)

I also like to point out that one day LGBT and our Straight allies shall rule the world and all the homophobes can think about "If you cant say anything nice, Dont say anything at all" while they work in the salt mines!

 

I just couldn't be friends with anyone who uses slurs like that, it would get on my nerve. The F*ggot or D*ke is no more acceptable than the N word , or the C word. Those three are all things I would never say personally, or even type for that matter. I think it's not as bad for someone who is gay/black/a woman to use them, but straight people, white people, and men should never use those words, or they'll sound like prejudiced jerks.

 

I respect everyone's opinion on these derogatory terms but to be completely honest, I feel like being offended by words only makes these words more offensive. of course it hurts me when I hear someone say 'faggot' but most people who use it don't have a clue what it feels like, and that's exactly it. they don't know and will never know how it feels so why let their ignorance bother you? my best friend uses the word faggot heavily. when I told him I'm gay, I said I didn't care if he used the word as long as he wasn't using it to directly offend me. of course this word is bad along with a lot of other words but what can we do? these words are out there and by telling people not to say them only makes them want to say them more. so if you ask me it definately is all about the context. black people call eachother niggas but they are not offending eachother. if homophobes start hearing us call eachother faggots maybe they wouldn't think of it as an insult so much. I'm not saying we should start doing that but I just don't think it's as important to make people stop saying a word than it is to get them to understand that we are all the same. like with my friend, he still uses the word, but I don't feel offended because I know he's my homie and would never use it to hurt my feelings. that being said I respect that you don't like people saying the word around you and your friends should too. if they don't understand, than they are a$$holes, or maybe they are just young, stupid and ignorant but unless they are throwing rocks at you and calling you names because you are gay, I wouldn't let it bother you soo much. I know it's hard, it bothers me sometimes too but I try my best. that's all we can do.

 

Ugh I absolutely HATE it when people say that word in bad context along with 'gay' etc. I told my friends that I don't like it, and they respected my wish and stopped saying it. Sometimes they say it accidentally and they apologize and I forgive them; I think you should tell your friends to stop because it obviously bothers you, and although they're saying it in a different context it's like saying the N word to a black person... It's not respectful and although you can say it in a non-hateful manner it still offends them just as much as gay / f*ggot offends us.

I told my friends that I've had to hear that word in a negative manner so many times that I just don't wanna hear it anymore because it hurts, and that was that. Sometimes they'll say it within a joke and I'm fine with it most of the time, but if they say "Oh that's so gay" or "_____ is such a f*ggot" it hurts.

 

Well, to be perfectly candid, I've called people faggots (and variations thereof) before, it's just part of the "culture". Though I think that it should be stopped as it propagates homophobia, some simply can't help it.

 

It used to offend me a lot when I was younger. These days now though, it's almost like I've been desensitized to it. I don't condone it at all, but I guess so many people throw it around!

 

yeah just tell them not to say those things, because it bothers you if they wont understand
and it really hurts you that bad then tell them to grab the toothbrush and hit the pavement

 

This^^^

I'm black and where i stay the word nigga doesn't much of those negative connotations that go with it. Of course this is used among blacks.
If a straight person calls you a faggot that automatically fees like an insult due to the majority of ''straight sentiments'' to what the word implies about gay people.
It feels similar to how a black person woukd feel if they were called ''nigga'' by a white person....obviously not just because of the word but the popular implication of the word.

My straight best friend sometimes uses the word in a very not offensive tone....so i don't mind much.

 

It's only considered "reclaiming" if you're gay or lesbian and decide to use it; but even then, it's complex and people are still going to be offended.

 

Tell them that even if they're using it in a 'different' sense it still hurts you're feelings, if they don't stop, maybe you should find some better friends

 

I personally dislike the words f*ggot and d*ke in any way, joking or not. The best way I've found to deal with it is to remind people that I dislike that word and find it insulting.

One of the most amusing instances of this was with my little brother who liked using the word 'god*amn' after I became a Christian. I told him he could use it but that I didn't like it. It got to the point that every time he said it I'd yell 'God doesn't need a dam, He can walk on water!' He got so annoyed by it that he finally stopped saying the cussword.

As far as 'reclaiming' words...unless your friends are gay, they have no reason to. Even if it's done with the best of intentions, the point is that that word isn't being 'reclaimed' to you and makes you uncomfortable, so they should respect you enough as a person not to use it around you.

 

As a straight person - I find it offensive!
I don't understand why people need to use this word? Or use 'gay' as a derogatory term (as in 'that's so gay')
From another perspective - As a Mum, when my children hit pre-teen's and 'gay' 'fat' 'faggot' 'fag' started appearing in their vocab, with mates and stuff, I sat them down and had a really good chat about what that could mean to someone who is gay.
How would you feel if you were gay and heard people saying that?
Exactly the same thing as the 'N' word. If there were white folks wandering around saying that and a black person was standing there how do you think they would feel??
Just about being aware of the other human beings we share the planet with isn't it??
BTW - my kids would never use these words because they wouldn't want to cause anyone else discomfort .... and further, I have heard my 15yr old son ask someone not to use 'gay' in that way before! Rock on.
Maybe it is just about education? For friends, family etc?