There is a girl that I work with who I have gradually started to fall for. We have been hanging out casually here and there, but just as friends. She is engaged to a man who has some serious health problems that have been causing a lot of strain on their relationship. At least that is the way that it seemed when she first started telling me about their relationship. The more I talk to her though, the more it seems like there are other issues causing her to be unhappy with him that have nothing to do with his health. She is bored with him because he only wants to watch TV and smoke pot. I have tried very hard to keep my feelings for her a secret; I have never tried to hit on her. Then a couple of days ago she told me that sometimes she declines my invitations to hang out because she has feelings for me and is afraid that they will grow stronger if we hang out too often. She loves her fiance as a person, but isn't attracted to him anymore. Ever since she told me about her feelings for me I have basically been going insane. It made me want her about a billion times worse than I already did. It was okay when I had my secret crush that there was no chance of ever doing anything about, but now that I know that she's into me I just want to run away with her and get married. I know it would be wrong to decieve her fiance, and it would hurt him so much, but I can't help but think that she shouldn't have to be stuck in a relationship that doesn't make her happy just because of his health. (It's not life threatening) I told her that the feeling was mutual, and left it at that. We haven't talked about it since. I feel like I am bursting at the seems, I just want to tell her that I am crazy about her, but think that I might make things even harder by doing that. What do I do????
She said she has feelings for you. You told her it's mutual. Right? Do you think she'd be open to discussing the situation further? Maybe ask her to explain what she meant or what she's feeling. Are her feelings romantic-like? I suspect they are since why would she try to avoid something that was harmless (for want of a better word)? Maybe send her an email saying something about how you're glad she told you how she felt, you think she's a special person, you'd like to help her find a way to be happy, etc. Try to present it as you supporting her not "courting" her, for now, I think. Being a good friend you can demonstrate what a lovely person you are and then… Hopefully, she'll dump that waster and you two will live happily ever after. :}
Hahaha! Thank you for your response. She dumped the waster! She's moving out of his place, and for some reason she still likes me! We aren't dating yet, but we've talked about it. Think it's just best to wait until she's moved out and on her own, but things are looking like they're going my way!
