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Friend has been acting kind of mean seemingly out of nowhere

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by QuietNShyGuy, Sep 1, 2014.

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  1. QuietNShyGuy

    QuietNShyGuy
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    Okay, so here's a summarized story of how we met:

    -We met each other about 2 years ago when we both started working at the same place.
    -He goes really out of his way to try to make conversation with me and just get his attention in general. I figure he's just a really cool social guy and become friends with him.
    -About half a year passes by and things start to get weird as I notice that he starts to make somewhat flirtatious remarks about my "pretty" appearance and starts getting touchy with me (going as far as slapping my ass at times). I just kind of ignore this, figuring it would eventually stop.
    -Another couple of months pass and he quits his job and starts working in a restaurant.
    -Since he was the only person I could really consider my friend, I came out to him about a few months back because I really needed someone to talk to since I've known about my sexuality and have been hiding it for years now. He was very supportive about it initially.

    Recently, he's just been acting like an ass. He constantly teases me about the way I talk, brings up how hot he finds girls and gets irritated whenever I don't respond by agreeing with him, and sometimes refers to me in derogatory ways (e.g. "queer-mo") and tries to pass it off like he's just joking and that I should lighten up.

    I've tried getting him to stop, but it hasn't really worked. It's really upsetting because he's pretty much the only friend I have right now and I suck at making new friends (as explained earlier, we're friends because he went out of his way to be my friend). What should I do?
     
    #1 QuietNShyGuy, Sep 1, 2014
  2. QuietNShyGuy

    QuietNShyGuy
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    He's also been shoving me and giving me "fake punches" (which are definitely held back, but still kind of hurt sometimes) lately.

    He shoved me one time months ago before he really started acting like this and when I said how much I didn't like it, he gave a big apology for it. Now, he just does it anyway and has completely forgotten about what I said in the past about it.
     
    #2 QuietNShyGuy, Sep 1, 2014
  3. resu

    resu
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    He doesn't deserve to be your friend. You need to be more forceful and tell him to stop saying those homophobic things. If he doesn't know what you're talking about, tell him you don't think it's a joke and you want him to stop. If he doesn't stop, then he's not your friend, plain and simple. You should never feel obligated to be with him.

    You say you suck at making friends, but that doesn't mean you should give up. You can change and find friends who are willing to accept you as you are. In that sense, you should really look for gay friends since they will at least understand your situation.
     
    #3 resu, Sep 1, 2014
  4. QuietNShyGuy

    QuietNShyGuy
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    The thing that really gets me about him is that he used to be one of the nicest guys I know. If this was how he acted when we first met, I would have had no trouble giving him the middle finger and walking away, but I guess I'm kinda stuck on how things used to be.

    I won't stop trying to make friends. I'm going to be joining my college's GSA soon, so I should make new friends in the near future.
     
    #4 QuietNShyGuy, Sep 1, 2014
  5. daisy448

    daisy448 Guest

    Just straight out tell him (pun not intended, js) that the way he's acting has been hurting your feelings and if he isn't willing to change then you'll have no other option but to stop hanging out with him. It'll be a shame if you stop being his friend but you don't deserve to be bullied.
     
    #5 daisy448, Sep 2, 2014
  6. Vampire

    Vampire
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    His behavior can have many, many reasons. It can be family issues, work issues, etc. You should have a serious talk to him, explain to him what your concerns are and how you'd like to work them out with him. Telling him that he's hurting you won't necessarily fix the problem, it might even make it worse.

    Also, his touchy behavior can be just the way he acts, it says nothing about his sexuality.

    But, do keep in mind the previous posts, especially the first one. If you talk to him about this and he doesn't change his behavior towards you, he doesn't deserve to be your friend. Period.

    I hope this helps.

    Lots of love,
    Andy
     
    #6 Vampire, Sep 2, 2014
  7. Rosepetal

    Rosepetal
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    Walk away he's toxic
     
    #7 Rosepetal, Sep 2, 2014
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