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He said he used to be gay?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by s0a1b2f3, Sep 2, 2014.

  1. s0a1b2f3

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    This may be a long story but please bare with me. Long agi I signed up for a social networking app that lets you meet people within your area and people with very similar interests. Well on my profile it clearly stated "Looking to date guys" and this one guy said hello. We kept on talking and he clearly said to me that he wasn't gay. His words were "I do not mind if you are gay just as long as the guy doesn't try anything with me".

    He said he was looking for close friends and didnt mind that I was gay. So I continued to talk to him. Sooner or later I gave him my phone number and we got closer. We actually got really really close and began to talk every single night for months.

    At one point he said he trusted me so much that he wanted to share a secret with me that no one else knew. He told me he used to be gay. He went on in detail that he once got a blowjoh from a guy and that he used to watch gay porn but now somehow he says he is straight. He is attracted to women and he now has a girlfriend. He told me that it was a long time ago that gay thoughts swam through his brain but he is no longer gay.

    He tells me he loves me a lot, and that he misses me. We skype a lot and send each other pictures of ourselves. One night we were playing truth or dare (through the phone) and he dared me to send a picture of my ass. I did. But when I dared the same he seemed to want to go to sleep. Later on the subject opened again and he swore that he would send a full frontal nude picture if I asked for it. But I didnt, and he just sent a picture of his ass. We laughed quite a bit at that.

    He wants to see me a lot and he says he would hug me hard if he saw me. Sometimes he would say he wishes I was a girl so I could be with him. At one time he said my lips were so big and delicious thst they were like a girls. Ummm okay ;p

    He also said that he would not mind if we showered together because that is normal since he said that he once showered with his friend (said it was no big deal). He told me that he once had such a close guy friend that they would cuddle in his bed. He also talks about the future hoping we would live together and work in the same country etc.

    But he certainly acts straight and has many straight friends that he goes out with and does not seem to do or say anything like that around them. So I am not sure.

    It just confuses me that he "used" to be gay. And that he was on that social app and tried to speak to a guy who was clearly looking for another guy to date. Now we are extremely close friends and these thoughts just come to me.

    Anyone have any clue what is going on?
     
  2. CoyoteCalling

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    It sounds like he's either bisexual or gay and in very deep denial.

    He's also using you and cruelly playing with your emotions.

    To be very blunt, the guy sounds like bad news to me.
     
  3. resu

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    Yeah, if he's willing to basically cheat on his girlfriend, someone who he feels is an "acceptable partner," think how he will treat you if you try to ever be seen in public.
     
  4. Anonymous777

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    In my opinion he is gay or bi in denial. But I think it's more probable he's gay. That's because he said he used to be gay. Nobody stops being gay, do you know what I mean? You might be confused about your sexuality, though.

    In addition, he started to talk to you when he knew you were looking for dating guys.

    He seems to be using you and his "girlfriend". Would you trust a person like that?. You should be very careful if you don't want to be hurt.
     
  5. s0a1b2f3

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    I agree about the idea of him using his girlfriend, because if he was gay he would just have her to appear straight since it is extremely bad in our community to be gay.

    But why would he be using me? I mean we have become really great friends he has helped me through most of my problems and he never seems to talk to me in a "dirty" way if you know what I mean. That dare was long ago and it was one dare out of many funny dares (that had nothing to do with nudity or anything bad like that).

    We talk everyday and now we talk normally and he has never tried anything or talked to me in a sexual way. He just talks to me like im a close friend.

    If you still think he is using me, could anyone please elaborate on that thought?
     
  6. scub

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    he sounds like the typical straight male.. yeah right.. the guy is in total denial. he can try to bury his gay thoughts all he wants, but it's obvious who he is deep down inside.

    to be honest, as some others have already mentioned, i would also advise to stay away from him (if you're interested in being with him or developing feelings for him already). this sounds like a person that will continue to play with you for a long time, and possibly hurt you until he finally gets tired of hiding himself. you didn't say how old he was so i'm assuming he's in his 20s..?
     
  7. scanner007

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  8. Kj802

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    He sounds like he might be insecure about the fact that he is gay and is trying to deny himself, but is so close to you that he is slowly coming out almost. I don't know that's just what I think. But my advice would be to continue to be friendly but just be cautious.
     
  9. Anonymous777

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    I didn't mean he is using you in a sexual way. But do you just talk to each other or have you ever met? I meant he might be flirting with you and playing with your feelings.

    If you have thought about being in a relationship with him, you could end up hurt because he probably won't leave his girlfriend and his straight status.
     
  10. Quem

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    He 'used to be gay'? I think he's trying to figure out whether he is gay or not. And my assumption is that he is gay and in denial.
     
  11. s0a1b2f3

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    Well I have no intention of being in a relationship with him, at the state we are now he is a really close friend. He always asks about me, its like we are normal friends. He has not done anything to give any suspicion that he may be gay for a long time now.
     
  12. Anonymous777

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    Well. If he is a good and close friend who is concerned about you, there's nothing to worry about.
     
  13. s0a1b2f3

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    Thats what is in my mind, but according to his previous actions there is no possible way that he is simply and purely straight right?
     
  14. Anonymous777

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    I don't think so. In my opinion, he's definitely not straight.
     
  15. Quem

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    I agree with Anonymous777. He's probably not straight. It's more likely that he's gay & in denial.
     
  16. CoyoteCalling

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    I was concerned that some of what you described in your original post seemed like he was trying to flirt and string you along. But I agree with the others; no chance of falling for him, no problem. And no, I don't believe he's straight now. Bi possibly, confused definitely, but not straight.