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I don't want to be a cheater!

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by jannyjillian, Sep 3, 2014.

  1. jannyjillian

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    I'm in a longterm relationship (13 y) but I'm flirting with an another woman.
    Small detail:
    SHE IS MY BOSS!!

    She's about 15 years older and married with kids. Chances that she is gay or bi are very little... Not that would make it ok, I'm in a good and loving relationship as well!
    Though I feel there is a connection. We make jokes, tease, and can work well togheter. But the strange thing is that we can't speak about serious/personal stuff. That's always short and awkard. But individually we're open to other colleagues. She is very physical and touches my arm, back, leg... and I gladly let her (I'm not a physical person at all!) I love looking into her eyes.

    My girlfriend even noticed that I speak differently about her. She's getting jealous and I can't really blame her.
    The hard part is that I'm trying to convince myself and my girlfriend that I don't have a crush on her. But I can't lie... It's true...

    Yesterday my boss and I had a big fight (about a teambuilding which she couldn't attend). She was getting mad, she even got tears in her eyes. I left the room. I couldn't concentrate for the next our. So I decided to get back into her office. I told her that I never had the intention to harm the unit nor her, no matter what...
    She smiled, looked into my eyes and said 'I know, thank you'. That made me love her more...

    I really must get past this, I don't trust myself anymore... Avoiding her isn't possible, I see her every damn day.
    I don't know what to do anymore...
     
  2. resu

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    What about your girlfriend? What feelings do you still have for her? What changed?
     
  3. jannyjillian

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    I love her madly!!!

    My girlfriend is the woman of my live, I could/would NOT go on without her!


    It's just really hard to have a crush on somebody you see everyday and is your boss.
    I desperately want to 'decrush' but I don't know how... :bang:
     
  4. romanstatues

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    Having a crush is natural... you are in a faithful relationship for what 13 years? You're human, it happens.

    I'd say honesty is the best policy... if you and your partner have that level of trust just tell her that you love her and you have a crush on your boss. It happens. I have had it happen and been open about it. Having a crush isn't so bad, hiding it from your partner on the other hand is pretty bad.
     
  5. resu

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    Try finding some flaw in your crush, something irritating to you. Also, check yourself when getting too close physically, and try to remind yourself she's off limits.