I am either gay or bi (probably gay) (and am a male), but I've never met anyone who is gay, mostly because I live in a small, redneck, insignificant, unheard of town in Florida where most of the population is conservative. I have met someone who I think is bi, but I mean, it didn't work out between us. It could have, but it didn't, and I didn't pursue it again because he is a jerk when it comes to love. Besides him, every other guy (at least at my school) except for a few (who I'm not interested in) are straight as a toothpick. I have had small attractions to some, and I currently have what I think to be a crush on someone in my grade whom I have known for a long time, but didn't start developing feelings for until recently. ANYWAY, Idk if he likes me. He is THE DIRTIEST guy I know. He is always making gay jokes, though. He's fun to be around, but idk if I'm interested in him. But that's besides the point; I really want to find someone who loves me as much as I do them: with all my heart. I want to be able to find someone who will love me for me, and to hold me tightly and fit all my broken pieces back together (because trust me, I am BROKEN. FLAT), and love me even at my worst times. Someone to hold me. Yet, this is all fairy-tale stuff, and even if I lived in a place where there were more gay people, this is still fairy-tale-like stuff. But I want it to be somewhat like that if I find the love of my life. But, the problem is, that I can't find that, not in this town. And this is starting to make me feel very lonely and depressed (more so than I was already). Although I don't feel like I should be feeling depressed, that's kinda conceited. But, I guess what my question is, What do I do? How long do I have to wait? I can't bear this feeling anymore, it's haunting me all the time. I want someone to love me as much as I do them, but that's next to impossible for my situation. :bang::bang::help::help::help*hug*)
Your situation sounds really frustrating. I don't know what it's like to be in a small town but it must be super difficult to feel stuck and only a limited number of people to interact with, especially in what sounds like a non-LGBT friendly community. How old are you? Are you in school? It probably doesn't help to hear this - but when I was a teenager I remember feeling the exact same way, just desperate to know that I'd find someone who would love me with all my heart, to hold me, all of that. I wanted that so much it physically hurt inside my chest. It does sound fairy-tale ish, I agree. It almost sounds impossible. But...finally at the age of 27, I think I may have found it. Try to be patient, your time will come too! Honestly, I remember how much I hated hearing this, but it came true for me: I found true love when I was LEAST expecting it. I had given up, I was trying to learn to accept the possibility I might remain single for a very long time if not forever....then last year I met my current gf and we are madly in love with each other. Falling in love with her caught me completely by surprise, she was the first person I've chased after who returned my feelings. I was not looking for love when she and I found each other. I guess...try to hang in there, and even if you can't move from your town soon, maybe you can travel or meet new people face-to-face in some other way?
@irishluck, I am 13, but I will be 14 in exactly a month from today . And I'm in 8th grade. And it is pretty non-LGBT friendly, but there are people who I have come out to who are fully accepting. They're girls though. Lol. I doubt any boys would be like that, least where I am. But, I was expecting a reply saying to not worry, but instead I got this reply, which you tell me that you felt the exact same way when you were younger, which actually makes me feel a lot happier than it probably should, but that's a good thing. Thanks for actually understanding, really. It means more than you think. Anyway, my "family" doesn't really travel, plus we only have one income.
