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Possibly abusive parents to scared to leave

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by MorganPrefect, Sep 3, 2014.

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  1. MorganPrefect

    MorganPrefect
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    A friend of mine insists that my parents are abusive. My father starts arguments just to argue. He once held me down and forced me to drink beer(I was eight). Whe he starts the arguments he will hit you if you keep arguing. The other day he grabbed my brother by the neck for talking back. My mother is constantly watching and makes sure I don't talk about anything she doesn't like. The only way I got on here is a three year old NetBook they haughty I destroyed. She also told me I was broken for not wanting sex. And forced me to walk around shirtless after I came out as wanting to be a girl. And yelled at me for trying to put a shirt on.
    I am terrified of their judgment and the revilent of the extended family if I am weak and run (especially if they think I wast being abused which I am still not convinced I am I think I just have flawed parents)but fighting back terrifies me even more. Can I do anything? Is this even abuse?
     
    #1 MorganPrefect, Sep 3, 2014
  2. Chiroptera

    Chiroptera
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    Do you have any parents that can shelter you without judging you? Looks like abuse to me, the way you are describing it.
     
    #2 Chiroptera, Sep 3, 2014
  3. MorganPrefect

    MorganPrefect
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    No I do not they are both fairly well liked by those in my community and family and I don't think anyone would belive me. They do do nice things take me places allow me to have a birthday party give gifts. They seem to care a lot about my acedemics. So I thought that the aboves where necessary evils.
     
    #3 MorganPrefect, Sep 3, 2014
  4. Chiroptera

    Chiroptera
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    Oh, that's good, from your first post i thought the situation was a lot worse (not saying it is good).

    Well, are you old enough to move out? Peraphs you should consider saving money and moving out (without arguing or anything). If you are too young, consider that and keep focusing on studying so you can do it on the future.

    Moving out is a nice idea (to me) because you can be yourself, somewhere (a house) no one will judge you, but still maintain contact with your parents and everyone else when you want to.
     
    #4 Chiroptera, Sep 3, 2014
  5. MorganPrefect

    MorganPrefect
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    Still to young. And I try to, but I can't get away from them on weekends. So a bit more than a forth of the week I am there not allowed to leave and spend as much time as I can hiding away from them.
     
    #5 MorganPrefect, Sep 3, 2014
  6. BiErik

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    That sounds like abuse to me Morgan. I was a bit of a brat towards my parentsthey never put their hands on me. When I came out I never was forced to be partially naked.
     
    #6 BiErik, Sep 4, 2014
  7. EpicConfusion

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    That is most definitely abuse! Although it may be hard, you MUST get out of that situation. Go to a friend whom you trusts parents and explain the situation and ask if you may stay with them.
     
    #7 EpicConfusion, Sep 4, 2014
  8. MorganPrefect

    MorganPrefect
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    I also have younger siblings. My twelve year old brother has it worse if I run I will make it worse for him.
     
    #8 MorganPrefect, Sep 4, 2014
  9. resu

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    How old are you?

    Your father is abusive; physical abuse is extremely serious and there is no justification for it. Your mother is probably being influenced by your father, but she is being abusive in her own way. All those birthdays and gifts are meaningless when you're being abused. I know because my dad was always the one buying me toys and stuff, but because he was abusive, I never took his side when he argued with my mom.

    Do you have any extended family members that you trust who could help you? Do you know any counselors like at your school?
     
    #9 resu, Sep 4, 2014
  10. Wuggums47

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    That is most certainly abuse, call Child Protective Services, look up the number online.
     
    #10 Wuggums47, Sep 4, 2014
  11. Fallingdown7

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    This is definitely abuse and you need to talk to someone. I'm sorry you're going through this. What's happening is NOT normal.
     
    #11 Fallingdown7, Sep 4, 2014
  12. Rosepetal

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    Call cops and cps
     
    #12 Rosepetal, Sep 4, 2014
  13. MorganPrefect

    MorganPrefect
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    I am 15. My mother teaches at the school. I don't believe. That would make much change.

    ---------- Post added 4th Sep 2014 at 03:40 PM ----------

    How can I prove anything to them there is little physical evidence after a day or so?
     
    #13 MorganPrefect, Sep 4, 2014
  14. EpicConfusion

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    Even though there's no 'evidence' they will still have to believe you. Like a few people mentioned, call child protective services ASAP; They can get you and your siblings out of there and take care of you.

    Here is a directory for the number in each state- https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/reslist/rl_dsp.cfm?rs_id=5&rate_chno=11-11172

    Stay strong :slight_smile: (&&&)(*hug*)
     
    #14 EpicConfusion, Sep 5, 2014
  15. MorganPrefect

    MorganPrefect
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    I doubt anyone still follows this, but I figured Id close it up. I did get incontact with social services they tried to arrest my dad. Theres ALOT to go into, but the short version is people lied for my dad because comeing from the backwoods as we do we're the put together family. My parents still arent acepting ("are you sure youre not schysophrenic is that what this is") but my dad hasnt hit anyone since the case with cps, and now my dad is the one most worried about my eating habits(always at the wrong times but he's trying) alot of the drinking has dialed back it was gone for a while, but its still less than before(he's replaced it with smoking in the car I inherited from my grandmother after she died a minor annoyance but still nothing compared to before).
    On a side note I realized the last time I posted here before today was my birthday a whole year ago. My how things change.
     
    #15 MorganPrefect, Nov 23, 2015
    Last edited: Nov 23, 2015
  16. Contact1111

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    It sounds like your Dad might be an alcoholic or becoming one, since it sounds like he was regularly going into a drunken rage. He really shouldn't drink alcohol at all, if he has the tendency to start raging like it sounds like he was. Obviously, that doesn't justify his behavior in any way at all, and if that continues you should definitely get out of there. It sounds like the drinking was definitely making things far worse with him. I still see it as a bad situation if he is questioning your sanity due to your sexuality/gender identity. Your Mom also doesn't sound so good to be around either. I can't exactly say what her deal is, but the fact that she says you are "broken" for not wanting sex just sounds like an extremely uncomfortable environment to be in. I can also relate to the situation, not because my mother is like that at all, but because I'm also not one to be always after/wanting sex. My mother is actually glad about that, and she's happy to see that I don't want to take things too fast. However, it would be a tough situation if my family was trying to force things like that. In addition, the whole thing that she made you walk around shirtless just sounds downright strange. I honestly can't imagine why she would want that, and it sounds very uncomfortable and abusive. It also sounds like your Mom is very controlling given that she doesn't give you access to the internet, etc.
     
    #16 Contact1111, Nov 24, 2015
  17. Chip

    Chip
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    I'm glad to hear CPS got involved. Once they have an open case on the issue, it becomes much easier to reopen it. It's very, very clear there's abuse going on, and CPS should be well aware that abuse often happens behind closed doors in families that appear perfect.

    So don't simply give up. If you experience any sort of abusive behavior, call them back again. Also, the more you share with others what's happened to you, the more there's corroborating evidence in case your dad calls upon people to lie for him. Again, a good CPS worker will be able to sift through the lies, look at very subtle cues (inflection, body language, etc.) and tell what's going on.
     
    #17 Chip, Nov 25, 2015
  18. AlmostBlue

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    Great advice from Chip. Your family is definitely abusive and there should be intervention. Don't give up, and good luck! Keep us posted from time to time.
     
    #18 AlmostBlue, Nov 26, 2015
  19. bookreader

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    I'm so sorry that you're going through this. I would record everything your parents are saying/doing and send it to CPS.
     
    #19 bookreader, Nov 26, 2015
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