What to do about your best friend not wanting to be cared about...?

I know exactly what your friend means.. I say those things to!

When I say "don't care so much about me", I want others not to worry about me, if something is wrong, I'll let them know.

It's a little frustrating when a friend keeps asking me how I'm doing. I know they ask me because they care, but I just don't want to be on their minds too much. They should enjoy other things rather than worry about me.

That's my point of view and it might explain your friend's attitude. (*hug*)

Cheers,

Quem

 

we are on the same boat. My best friend usually tells me to stop caring about her , because I get worried over the smallest things when it comes to her.
What I'm saying, tell him what you just said here, that friends care about each other, because they love each other. I'm sure he is unstable emotionally currently, so just be there for him, to get this through. Good luck

 

I know real life is not the same as manga but... yeah. I'll call your friend "Sam" for the purpose of this post.

Imagine if you will, this conversation:

You: - dude i worry about you, you know you're my best friend!
Sam: - no, please, don't worry about me, blah blah blah...
You: - <staring directly into his eyes> you know i can't do that, i won't ask you to tell me what is bothering you but know that it breaks my heart that...
--pick one of two:
- it breaks my heart that you don't trust me enough to share your pain with me.
- it breaks my heart that you don't feel the same, i just don't want to see you hurting.

Sam: - i said i'm okay, just don't mind me <a tear starts flowing from his cheek>.
You: - <looks him directly in the eye> <hugs as tightly as possible>, you are right, i'm sorry.
Sam: <starts crying> <hugs you back> can we stay like this for a while?

<sex scene>
^this was a joke

Just to give you an idea of things. People in general want others to care for them, even if they don't admit it themselves, even if they push you out... If he is truly hurting over something then he seeks comfort whether he knows it or not.

P.S. - avoid blurting out shit like "oh i care about everyone..." if i was Sam, this would make me feel very unappreciated, like i was just some random person from your life that needs help. Make him feel special, he is the only one that matters. Don't push him to explain what is bothering him, just make him feel comfortable, be his support, not his shrink.

 

I feel that way about my friends sometimes. He may just be someone who doesn't want to share things, in wish case I would give him space and tell him he can come to you if he needs it.

 

I agree with this. However, I would also like to add that he may be going through something emotionally. And yes, it is rather annoying when someone keeps asking the same question, especially when they are going through something unpleasant.

 

I have a friend whom does the same to me.. He tells me he is okay and not to worry even though I know he is not okay and is going through things and I wanna be there for him, but he won't let me.. He ignores a lot of my messages and even when I say I am there for him, he acknowledges it by saying thanks.. But he never messages me first... If he does ever message me, it is in reply to something I have said.. Usually hours later.. It hurts a lot cause I really like him.. Sometimes I wonder why I like him but I feel like I am too caring and he uses that to push me away.. I am trying not to let it bother me but it is hard not too.. So I know where you are coming from and why you feel the way you do.. It's hard when one doesn't want to acknowledge you are there for them and treat you like you don't even exist.. I laugh sometimes cause he says he loves me (friendly way) and misses me when we don't talk, yet he doesn't make any effort at all and always uses the excuse that he is busy.. If you aren't too busy to read a message.. Then you aren't too busy to respond to it.. And I can't say anything cause then it will result in an argument.. Sorry for venting on your post.. Just feel like I am in the same situation here..