A free pass to cheat?/One lifetime sex partner

Hi,

I haven't experienced the free pass, but I know about the wondering what it would be like. They guy I'm currently seeing right now and I aren't as serious as it appears you and your boyfriend are though. I really do like him, but I am afraid because he's the only person I've ever been sexual with. I still don't know what I'll do. Good luck to you!

 

My 2 cents as being in a committed (and not un problematic relationship)... if he is your first you will wonder for life what it would be like. Sometimes as humans we need to try something before knowing what we have is worth it. There is a high chance one day you will get curious and you may already be married.

If I was you, I'd consider it, if you have wondered maybe it's best beforehand.

There are 2 possible outcomes:

1. You don't find it that great with the other and you realize what you have is pretty damn good and thats that.

2. You realize what you have isn't enough for you and it's a big mess.

Either way better sooner than later. I assume my advice may not be popular for some and in the situation I'd say I agree, but, it's the truth. Humans are often creatures of trial and error. Plus if he said it, it's likely because he knows this.

 

I'm going to have to disagree with the viewpoint above.

Speaking hypothetically, a customer is dining at a new restaurant. During their visit the meal that they choose is likely going to be a shot in the dark. In the case that they did not enjoy their meal or did not find themselves completely content afterwards, they are obviously going to try something new on a future visit. This is a case of actual dissatisfaction. This individual will always be left with that same feeling of discontentment no matter how many times they order the same meal. On the other hand, let say that the customer adored their meal; it was everything that they could have possibly wanted. When they return to the restaurant at a later date, would you say that they should try something new and risk being left dissatisfied or continue to order a meal that they are positive will leave them content?

There are two reasons why individuals in relationships become inspired to seek sexual or romantic experiences outside of their relationship. The first reason is the actual existence of a missing or inadequate factor within their relationship. The member is actually not satisfied sexually or romantically; however, acknowledging a flaw within a relationship has nothing to do with prior experience, so much as whether the participants are being honest and attentive to one another. If the ability to acknowledge flaw was based on past experience, then we wouldn't live in a society where the majority of the population is cycling through failed relationships all through adulthood. You don't need to have a random fling to know if you are satisfied within your relationship; you merely have to ask yourself whether you are truly being honest rather than attempting to convince yourself that they satisfy you.

The second reason being that they have grown insecure within their partnership, because of doubts that have been implanted in them by their environments. Family and friends believe that they could do better than their partners; society telling that that they should not be satisfied for one reason or another ("You're too young", "You're too good for them", "These things never last", etc). The fact of the matter is that there will always be items on menus that you have never tasted and renowned chefs that have never and will never cook for you; this world is far too vast to be deluded by the notion that there will ever come a day that there won't be millions of things out there that you will never know or experience.

Every relationship has a reasonable possibility of failing in the future. That will always remain a reality no matter how experienced the members happen to be. Whether or not you feel satisfied in your relationship at this very moment is the only relevant question in this situation.

 

I didn't mean that example to be taken literally; I suppose food wasn't necessarily the best example. My point is that if you are using a skin care product that gives you clear and radiant skin, there is no logical reason to continue changing your regime and searching for something "better" when the product you have satisfies any expectations that you could possibly have.

The issue with opportunities such as this is that they are often given out of feelings of obligation rather than genuine comfort. Partners that value commitment and monogamy find themselves giving their partners these freedoms because they want them to feel confident and secure in the relationship that they have together, but it doesn't mean that in the case that their partners act on the opportunity they won't find themselves feeling some degree of hurt and resentment.

He can repeatedly assure you that he is comfortable with it. He can attempt to convince himself that he is comfortable with it. In the end, he very well might be; I am not trying to act as though I know him on a personal level. I am simply saying that, in most cases, people who strongly value commitment and monogamy would find themselves emotionally affect by their partners seizing such an opportunity. My intention is not to discourage you from taking the opportunity if you feel that you aren't completely confident in the relationship. I just want to make sure that you know that there is a greater risk in acting on this than it might seem. In many cases, things don't go back to normal, so you have to be certain that it is worth the risk.

 

I agree with Gen completely. I would say more, but I think him and Resu have already summed it all up.