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Why does she flirt heavily - she's in a relationship

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by SouthCal1010, Sep 4, 2014.

  1. SouthCal1010

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    Recently, I posted on here and asked for advice. I met a woman at work and for the past month or so, we've engaged in some heavy flirtation. She would find reasons to come to my cubical and chat, and would make some sexually charged comments, as well as cute comments, too (i.e., anything from "I've had sex with four women and can't go over five, so I need to choose carefully" with a wink, to "You smell so nice everyday"). She kept insinuating that she wanted my phone number, and we proceeded to exchange some heated, sexual text messages.

    Here's a side note, however. She did tell me, early on, that things were complicated with an ex who she tends to "go back and forth with." This was a bit of a turn off for me, but I thought she was cute and decided to go with it - but allowed her to initiate most of the flirting (I didn't see a point in being too aggressive with someone who admitted to some serious baggage).

    In any event, on Monday, she admitted that she and the ex decided to get back together and that it was an "out of the blue, sudden" decision. Of course, I thought to myself "Bahhh. Why?", but as I posted above, I didn't allow myself to get too carried away from the get-go. But here's what bothers me - for the past week, she continues to constantly flirt with me. For instance, today she said that I'm "sexy" and said my "voice is cute." And yesterday, she gave a co-worker an attitude for tapping her on her sides (this particular co-worker tends to be overly touchy-feely with everyone), but then looks at me and says "But you can touch me anytime, anywhere." !@#$%^&*(

    I keep telling myself to brush her off my shoulder as I know better to get involved with a woman in a relationship, but the way she flirts make me say to myself "God, I want you in my bed." I'm going to keep my distance because it's the smart thing to do, but does anyone have insight on WHY she flirts so heavily when she's with someone else? Ugh.

    PS - I was recently offered a new job at a different company and will be putting in my two weeks at the month's end, so being co-workers isn't much of an issue at this point.
     
  2. jannyjillian

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    I guess she really likes the attention and the thrill of it.
    And offcourse she likes you, otherwise she wouldn't do it with you.

    I'm a bit in the same position, but on the other side.
    I'm in a longterm relationship but I can't help to flirt with my colleague/boss. Not on that level, I don't think she receives it as flirtation.
    But anyway, I just want to say that I find it difficult to stop. It's all very exciting, she is attractive, there is always the 'what if' question... So maybe this is also the case with you colleague

    It spieces up a workday ;-)
     
  3. SouthCal1010

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    I hear what you're saying. I think all of us subtly flirt to an extent, but sexual comments as "But you can touch me anytime, anywhere, etc." appear (to me) to be an entirely different ball game. I also get that some people are just more flirtatious / open than others, but the thing with this girl is, she's actually pretty quiet and reserved, barely talking to anyone at work. For now, the texts have ceased. I messaged her once about something work related, and the exchange was professional. Today, she flirted a bit, but nothing serious. It was a busy day on each of our fronts. She did approach my area on three or four occasions, and I felt that she hung around when I didn't give her my undivided attention until we chatted.

    JannyJillian, I did read your post about your own work crush, and it seems that it just makes your work day move faster (as you said, "spices it up"), because you also said that you are in love, can't live without, your GF. My work crush, however, admitted that she goes "back and forth, back and forth" with her EX, which makes me think that the relationship isn't so stable and that she wants me on the back burner. I'm of the opinion that if it doesn't work once, definitely twice, it's not going to work at all in the long term. Nonetheless, I'm not waiting around.