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she has a "boyfriend" but is on the down low with me...?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by lezbhonest, Sep 7, 2014.

  1. lezbhonest

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    Hi. this is a tough situation lol and there is alot of history ( i have other threads explaining more of my situation) but basically at the beginning of 2013 i met this girl, that night i said i am a lesbian and she then was like inseperable with me. We "had a thing" from about april 2013- october 2013. We would makeout nonstop and she'd always come onto me, and 9/10 times when drinking she would be the one initiating our hookups. Well In october she started acting weird and said how shed been feeling guilty about stuff etc etc and started acting cold to me ( She is Latina, extremely catholic, and her mom is super homophobic). Well then about a week later she freaked out and said how she is " SO STRAIGHT" etc, but then i said how i could tell she was going thru problems and i am here for her , then she said "You are right... I am just SO CONFUSED i DONT even know!!!!!!" ok well following that she avoided me like the plague for about 7 months ( aside from having me spend her birthday with her). she basically went MIA fromthe world, stopped drinking ( she told our gay friend she needed to stop drinking bc everytime it made her want to kiss me so bad!), and she stopped going out... well then in June she contacted me and we talked. then a week later she told me " Come over, i am having my 1st beer in 5 months!!)... ok well i ended up going there, and she wanted me to sleep over, which i did. we only cuddled and held hands <3. Ok well So now we are back on campus and she tells me she has a boyfriend, i was pissed, but ok so i met up with them one night and under the table at the bar, she holds my hand, then she wants to come back to my place, where she had NOTHING to do with her boyfriend. he was like, WTF... and told her he was gonna leave. she said, ok and she was gonna stay at my place LOL. so literally he left, then me and her hooked up the rest of the night until 7am it was amazing! She told me how what she has with him will NEVER compare to us, and she loves me :slight_smile:... haha soooo im in a bit of a dilemma... Because i am like in love with this girl , and i KNOW she loves me. our connection is insane. But she has a boyfriend, and basically sneaks from him on the down low with me. ... ANy advice on what you think is going on in her head?... does she care about me?... Do you think she'll ever accept who she is? Is she in denial orr what's going on?...Im thankful she is back in my life but This situation is causing me to feel depressed :frowning2: . and and by the way, i am 23 and she is 21. thanks :help::icon_bigg
     
    #1 lezbhonest, Sep 7, 2014
    Last edited: Sep 7, 2014
  2. Lina13

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    It sounds like she is in denial and unfair to you and her boyfriend.
    I guess she really likes you, but is ashamed of her feelings and that's why tries to live the "normal" life with her boyfriend.
     
  3. Toast

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    I think eventually she'll accept who she is, but she may need a little help. The best thing, I believe, is to be up front and honest with her. Tell her how the situation makes you feel, and that it's unfair to her boyfriend as well. I don't think the relationship she is trying to create, ie having a boyfined and still coming on to you, is going to be good for anyone in the end.
     
  4. lezbhonest

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    thanks for the advice, i agree. It's just such a messed up situation :frowning2:, bc i know she deep down wants me, but she is in such denial, it's just so complicated :frowning2:.... have you guys ever dealt with someone in such denial like this or did other odd behavior like she's done?