Wipe your feet before walking all over me please

First, this:
(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)

As you write, you have learned something from your experiences... I'd say be gentle with yourself... it takes practice to change, but if you know what you want to change you can keep at it...
communication might be important... communicating ones needs and wishes, without making reproaches, just stating them...

there are even tutorials on how to say no...
I think its important not to go too far the other way but to remain a healthy balance between ones needs...

I would build up a bit of confidence... doing things I like, maybe starting something I always wanted to do... ( all within reason of course )

and thinking a bit about what I want...
(*hug*)

 

Is it assertiveness you need to improve? Must be videos on that, surely.

 

Well, I can share a few words of wisdom Tudor, but only you can decide to follow them and it may take some determination and work on your part to see it through. It all starts with your language.. calling yourself a doormat, focusing on your submissive personality and hating yourself for it traps you in a negative cycle and you need to escape from that. No negative words about yourself!

It will take time, but you must put this relationship and the pain behind you, so be clear about your intentions and resolve to move on. It's a kind of grieving process you will have to go through day-by-day, but it's absolutely essential that you complete the process, otherwise you will never feel empowered - in fact, the power will remain with the person who hurt you.

Definitely talk about how you feel. There is no shame in expressing the feelings of hurt, anger and sadness, or whatever (but remember to watch your language so you don't turn it all on yourself).

Be strong and don't get involved in the Facebook cycle again... or email, texting, or calling as this will not help you to move on. Be strong and keep your head up. Even if you would like to be friends with her in the future (maybe/maybe not?) you must get over her first, so maintain space.

Final thing.. don't let this experience cloud your opinion of others or the possibility of future happiness. Moving on means letting go of suspicion and embracing love, happiness, laughter again.

Good luck - I hope you make it. Keep talking to us. (*hug*)