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relationships? steeping into a new realm.

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by wolfy1, Sep 8, 2014.

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  1. wolfy1

    wolfy1
    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    im not out yet, hopefully soon but don't plan on being in a relationship before i do come out but i was just thinking bout something. i have always hid from my sexuality to the point i wouldn't even think about having a relationship. now that i am accepting of my sexuality, i want to have a relationship with a guy. but its odd... i don't know how to have a relationship, if that makes since. i have always been independent. i just don't know anything, other than i want to have a one.

    my gaydar would set a world rerecord for how bad it is... so bad that i think every one around me is straight, witch i know cant be true. im shy when you first meet me, and in my opinion i act and present my self in a manly way that i fear no guy will think to hit on me because they think im straight. going back to the shy thing, im really scared to just strike up a conversation or flirt with someone i don't know even if its just some one im sitting next to in class :eek: ... what im getting at is not like i would be good at "picking up guys"

    im not really into "glee" guys, if you know what i mean. it's just not what im attracted too, and i think that just makes things harder. i know there are guys who are gay and are not like that, but like i said before... my gardar sucks, and the only guys who it picks up are those who match the stereotype. i feel that will make trying to date really hard.

    maybe im over thinking it... maybe im not? any advice on thees things? im 20 years old if that helps at all.
     
    #1 wolfy1, Sep 8, 2014
  2. resu

    resu
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    I am only a little farther than you in coming out and have never had a relationship, but I have made lots of observations.

    First, it helps if you can find some gay friends because they will also expand your contacts. Are you in college? There is likely to be some LGBT center or GSA group that you could ask for; they may have a mentor-mentee program.

    There are gay guys of all stereotypes, masculine and feminine, and it's going to be very hard to develop gaydar all on your own. You might try online dating or other things where you know the guys are gay (don't use Craigslist, it's like the very bottom of the barrel). But, I really think finding other gay guys with similar interests is crucial.
     
    #2 resu, Sep 8, 2014
  3. wolfy1

    wolfy1
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    Not out at all
    i wish my college had a lgbt club, but sadly it does not. i think it all just scars me a little since its all new to me.
    thanks for the advice!
     
    #3 wolfy1, Sep 9, 2014
  4. greatwhale

    greatwhale
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    Hey wolfy1, welcome to EC!

    College LGBT clubs are not the only place to find gay persons, perhaps there are LGBT community organizations in your area?

    Barring that, there are places online that you can try, I have no recommendations to make here, but just advice: as soon as someone looks OK, get offline as soon as possible thereafter and meet the person for the first time in a public place.

    You want to ensure your safety and ensure that the person is who he says he is. Even then, have a keen ear for inconsistencies or things that don't make sense. Then decide if you want to continue or not.
     
    #4 greatwhale, Sep 9, 2014
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