So I will try and make this short. It started off with a girl I worked with who I now no longer work with. . Yea, it's bad she was my supervisor I know. I became attracted to her shortly after working together, she just felt "different" than the other girls and I liked her. (She is gay but wasnt out at work) We always seemed kind of awkward around one another..as if she felt uncomfortable around me, but thats just my perception. I never told anyone I am actually into girls at work but I get the feeling she might have a hint. We would talk up to half hour after work several times a week, but only if a third work friend of mine was there. She was always brushing her hands against me in a way that...even today, I havent had that much "hand contact" with anyone else other than friends. She would give me this huge smile (genuine) everytime we passed in the halls. I had invited her to one or two outings outside work, she always would stop answering her phone when asked (for reference other employees asked her to go places too and she never told them yes either)She does seem more at ease btw with other employees. She just seems to go from being really nice and friendly to me ...to sometimes she would act really "short" with me, regarding work matters, and even if I needed a work related question answered she would just not text me back. So recently I needed her to get some paperwork to me despite us both working at other companies now since she was a supervisor over me. She agreed but when I suggested we meet up so I can get the paperwork, she got very "short" with me and wanted to end the convo. I tried asking her to lunch the next time I messaged her and she completely hasn't seen my convo or isn't answering me. I feel like this girl either hates me or doesn't know what to make of me? She also once tried to ask me to name some specific bars I mentioned I went to in a "known gay part of town", but I didnt tell her any lezzie bar names out of nervousness, i just kept avoiding answering. I guess since we do not work together anymore I want to know what everyone thinks? My crazy gut instinct tells me she may be trying to hide any interest she ever had but my head says....not with that behavior lol.
It's work. Even when I find someone cute a work, I'll ignore it and pretend like they're just someone else. For a few reasons 1) if it's a customer I could lose my job if I attempted anything and more related to you 2) if it's someone I have "power" over it could be considered rape, because I'm in a position of power. I'm not saying she liked you or didn't like you. She probably just knew that it was better to avoid the feelings.
It doesn't sound like hate to me. Sounds like shutting down because she's unable to communicate whatever has given her this change of heart. Maybe she's freaking out because you suggested getting together outside of work. Maybe she's already with someone and has realized she was overdoing her friendliness towards you. You could send her a "no worries" message saying something like: Hi Name. Hope you're doing good. I'm fine. I miss your jokes though. The people here aren't as funny. If you feel like hanging out or talking, let me know. Later! I wouldn't mention the uncomfortableness unless it comes up when you've gotten together. Or you get a natural opportunity to bring it up. Just show her that you're cool if she wants to talk.
Thanks for the replies. I agree while we worked together it was "bad" to do, we do not work together anymore. I do think you put it correctly saying she "shuts down" when something comes up that she doesn't want to deal with. I am also sensing weak communication skills on her part.
