Lately, my grandmother has been very irritating. Whenever I go out to spend time with her, we'll pass random guys outside and she'll say 'look at that cute boy' or 'oh look that cute guy was staring at you' or 'Don't you think he's cute?' She tries forcing guys on me at every turn. The thing is that I've been out to her for years and she's generally very LGBT friendly and progressive so I really don't understand this. I don't know if she forgot or is in denial. I've tried telling her I'm not interested and her comments bother me, but it doesn't seem to work. It actually got even worse this one time. We went through a fast food drive through and a young man she personally knew brought us our food. She pointed out how 'cute' he was again, to which I rolled my eyes. And then I learned she actually TOLD him I said I liked him (which I never said that) and he got embarrassed. For a while he even had this false belief something could happen between us. It is so annoying when it goes that far, and she thinks she's just 'teasing' me. I understand elderly people sometimes don't think before saying things, but I don't want this to become a major problem. Advice?
She might stop if you tell her that you are already dating someone and that the relationship is serious.
Actually, It's not because my Grandmother and I are extremely close (and I mean extremely close- she knows everything about me and visits me almost every day, knows everything about my family/friends etc.) If I told her that, she would know that I was lying, and would probably ask my mom who would say the truth. I'm an adult who is legally disabled and lives with my family who knows everything about what I'm doing and where I'm going, who I'm hanging out with. If I was actually in a relationship, she would know who the person was and would have met them several times since she's always with me and involved in my life/relationships with others. The only way she would believe this is if it was an online relationship (which she still might not view as valid) so the problem really isn't solved at all.
Oh... well that does change things. I would suggest hinting that you are not interested at least more than you have been if you feel comfortable with that. Is actually meeting someone and having a relationship out of the question? (I know it's easier said than done) Is coming out also out of the question?
Yes, I want to try to be more direct with her. I've already come out before, but for some reason it didn't seem to work? Then again that was almost 10 years ago. I'm not really interested in a relationship right now so I wouldn't want to use someone for that reason unfortunately :icon_sad:
If you aren't interested in a relationship right now, that's fine. I didn't mean to USE someone like that. Its possible they dismissed your coming out 10 yes ago as youthful hormones gone awry or "a phase". It may be worth it to come out again.
I don't know why grandmas do that. Mine does it, too. She's constantly saying that someday, a man might sweep me off my feet, or point out a guy and ask if I think he's cute. I know it's annoying, but she may be teasing you or just confused about the level of gayness that you're at. It's like they all assume you're bisexual, or that you like men better.
HI Grammie; can we talk? Sure baby, whats going on. Gram, you know im gay so i know you are just trying to help when you point out cute guys but i still like other girls. I dont want to give you any false hope so i thought id tell you. So thers no need tonpoint out cute guys but if you see a cute girl please let me know. Now lets go bake some of your famous cookies. I love you Gram.
Well, I'd suggest something different if you weren't out, but since you are, if talking doesn't work, I would actually say tell people who she tells you like them that you're gay (that's a mouthful) or point out attractive girls the way she points out attractive boys.
