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Help pls! Unrequited, secret love.

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Hard Candy, Sep 10, 2014.

  1. Hard Candy

    Hard Candy Guest

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    I am madly attracted (not sure if it is love) with my best gay friend, he doesnt know it. But he's in love with this guy he's dating. The guy kept treating him badly and cheating on him but he keeps coming back to him. Anyway, I have decided that I would just keep some distance from him because it hurts that I am so into him, but I am only a friend. Plus, lately, I dont like how he treats me. He jokingly makes demands and being aggressive and it hurts my ego, which I think is just me being oversensitive because of my feelings. With the guy he's dating, he's the one being pushed over, so I think he's just looking for some sort of sanctuary. He's a kind guy, he only does this as a joke but it still hurts. I would have handled this unrequited love better if still treats me the same way he treated me before, being all cheerful and sweet and cuddly, instead of acting spoiled and irrltable now.

    I guess my question is is it right to stay away a bit til my feelings get more stable? And what do you guys think of how he see me? He used to be so sweet and and adorable, Im starting to think he does not see me the same value as before. Should I change who I am to change his treatment of me? Or am I overthinking again?

    Please help. Last week I have been depressed so much I was thinking of scary things already, ones that involve hurting myself. Im better now though.
     
  2. Holly82

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    Always alway always be who you are. Let people show you who they are, and when they do show you, believe them. To keep going to back to a partner that cheats on you, especially when no wedding vows have been exchanged, is a really bad sign. I know how much it sucks to love someone you can't be with, but it hurts even worse getting involved with the wrong person.
     
  3. tulipinacup

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    I think given the situation you are having, it really is difficult. You can tell your feelings towards him but this could also jeopardise your friendship. If this is something that is killing you and you plan to distance away from him, he might be confused as to why you are doing this.

    You should try to ask yourself if you really want to be truthful to him given that the guy he is dating is treating him like shit. If you are not yet ready, be a good friend to him then. Give him advice on how he should deal with his relationship, tell him how you feel when he teases you around.
     
  4. EpicConfusion

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    Maybe have a talk with him about this unhealthy relationship?