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Should I tell her? Or start getting over her.

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by rmds, Sep 13, 2014.

  1. rmds

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    This is kind of a volume II to my "I'm in love with my straight best friend" thread, but I really need some help, guys.

    I've obviously gotten my heart broken before. Gotten rejected, liked someone who didn't like me, had relationships not work out. I know how it feels. But I've never quite experienced this feeling... this feeling of wanting to be with my best friend.

    If you read my other thread, you know that things with us lately have been crappy. We had a big fight and didn't talk for a few months. Now, we have started rekindling a little bit and I actually hung out with her the other day. Among all the catching up we did, she spent a portion of the time talking about her boyfriend, and how things are really great with them, and how he said he plans on having a ring for her by December.

    :icon_sad::icon_redf

    It was kind of soul crushing. I was so happy to see her... after months of being apart. And while I was sitting there thinking about how much I wanted to grab her hand from across the table, that's what she was talking about. So basically I'm realllyyy wrestling with whether or not I should tell her how I feel. I'm not sure what good it would do at this point, or what would change. But there's this nagging part of me saying that I need to get it out... that I owe it to myself, and in a way to her, to just get this out and let it soak in. I need to know if she ever felt that way. If she really truly, wants to be with him... after all the times she told me she didn't.

    Either that, or I need to find a way to immediately get these thoughts out of my head and let it go. Please help, guys. I really don't have anyone else to talk to.
     
  2. gibson234

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    You deserve someone who likes you back. Not some straight girl who you argue with. Life is too short for people who don't want you. Never let anyone ever control your happiness. I'm not necessary saying she does hold your happiness although I don't know. But you can't have time for straight crushes. They are completely pointless.

    This is what I do with my straight crushes. I hurt for a bit then I move on. I know that's hard but it's necessary. One day you will have a good stable relationship and look back on this and think "how could I have let that girl affect me so much? The partner I have now is so much better."
     
  3. rmds

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  4. Emmanuella

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    No advice....I can't imagine how difficult it must be to listen to her talk about her relationship and how happy they are. I was in a similar situation with an ex-best-friend, though she wasn't in a relationship. What worked for me was distancing myself. a lot. we are still friends, but not as close... I really had to push her a way in order to get over my feelings for her. :frowning2:

    Now, I don't know if you should tell your friend about your feelings or not. It is a big decision that would affect all three of you, and I don't feel like it's my place to suggest a course of action. Honestly, I don't even know what I would do in your situation.
     
  5. thischick7

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    Yeah, only you can have any idea of how this girl would take that sort of news. Sounds like she's happy with this dude. I'm really sorry though. I know how this feels. All I can say is find yourself a nice gay girl, and maybe you can keep your friend and someday go on a double date with her and your new lesbian girlfriend.