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Winning him back?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by JakeHas, Sep 14, 2014.

  1. JakeHas

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    Okay so here's the deal. My boyfriend (long distance) left me a couple months ago, but we still talk as friends right now. He left due to the distance, which is 100% understandable. He has a new boyfriend (local relationship) and though it KILLS me, I'm happy for him.

    BUT

    I know relationships don't exactly always work out, I'm not a home-wrecker so I'm not going to go try ruining their relationship or get him to cheat, but if something was to happen in the future on their own terms where they break up, I need advice on ways to well... Win him back, despite the distance.
    I understand not everyone can handle long distance, it's a pain in the ass, but I need some ways to let him see that the distance and time will be worth it until we can be together in person. Again this would all happen IF/WHEN they break up in the future.

    How could I give him hope and able to withstand the distance for a while?
    Also, I still need help kinda getting use to him being with someone else... So help in that would be nice too xD

    Thanks everyone <3
     
  2. gravechild

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    You can't. His choice to come back or not is his own, and since he broke up with you, and found someone else, it looks like he's moved on long ago.

    I'm not saying it can't work, but generally, the whole on-and-off type situations don't always turn out the way we want them to in the end.

    Also, since he's already tried long distance and found it not to his liking, he'd probably be less eager to give it another go.
     
  3. JakeHas

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    He claims the only reason is the distance, so if I can prove to him that it really isn't that bad and will be worth it in the end I am positive things will work out. I just don't know how I could prove that to him
     
  4. Blossom85

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    I really feel for you.. I honestly had a similar experience, but she ended up cutting me off and not speaking with me again... I know you wanna wait for him and that shows you are a wonderfully romantic and hopeful person.. But I think if you wait for him, them you will be missing out on a lot of other and better prospects that might come along. You need to move on sweetie and just let him go. Even if he says it's just the distance, then I don't see why he would have already moved in to someone else.. I think there is more to it and perhaps he said it was only distance to avoid you being hurt over him moving onto someone else so soon after your breakup.

    I know this is a bad and hard time and you are in a lot of pain.. But waiting and hoping is not going to do those feelings and the pain any good.. It will make it worse over time and in the meantime.. There could be someone else better for you and closer to you whom you won't give a chance cause you are stuck on your ex and waiting for him to get his act together and be with you again.. Moving on, although it is hard.. I think it is your only option.. You shouldn't put your life on hold for something that might never happen.
     
  5. greatwhale

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    Hey Jake, nice to see you back!

    Blossom85 gave you good advice. If you maintain your focus on him, you won't be able to see the beautiful person that could appear right next to you.

    Let go, consider your relationship with him to have been a lesson in love and use what you've learned for your next love. Although it feels impossible, you're young enough; it will happen!
     
  6. Sotv

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    you can always go on skype dates, send eachother care packages full of thoughtful gifts and try and see eachother for atleast one weekend when you start going out again.
     
  7. resu

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    Focus on bettering yourself so that no matter what guy (your ex or someone new) comes along, he will find you even harder to let go.
     
  8. JakeHas

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    I appreciate all of the help everyone, I have actually found someone... But just my luck he lives a few states away.. What is it with me and long distance :dry:
    Anyway, I've known him for about a year now and we've been really really close friends.

    We aren't together right now, but he's always treated me better than my ex has. I feel like we might end up getting together once his life kinda stabilizes (his mom is a jerk... Like, abusive... She needs to be arrested. She even left bruises and marks on him).
    Anyway that definitely affects us being able to talk a lot, but I'm doing my best but wont go further until it's healthier.

    Nonetheless I'll always and forever have a large space in my heart for my ex, my first real love, and maybe in the future it will work out again.

    I stick by this quote constantly and suggest a lot of people out there in the same situation do too:
    "When two people are meant to be together, they will always find their way back to each other no matter what happens."

    Thanks everyone (&&&)
     
  9. Blossom85

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    That is good to hear a positive attitude there Jake and you are welcome.

    I know I will always hold my ex girlfriend in my heart always as she was my very first love as well, it's always good to hold the good memories inside of you, but it is good you are moving on and thinking about taking it all slowly with this new potential love interest. I think about this new guy.. Just show him you care and that if he wants to talk about anything that is bothering him, you are there for him, but I agree that to shouldn't force anything. He will appreciate and remember that you have been there for him at the times he most needs someone.