So before I get to the point of this thread, a little background is necessary first I think. Fist and foremost I've been in a hand full of relationships here and there. In a few of these relationships I have been cheated on, and I have to admit that I have done the cheating before too, and it's made me realize how easy it is to do it and not get caught. It's not something I'm of proud of and I am past it, but it adds certain issues and insecurities to my current relationship. Although to be honest I had trust issues since my very first boyfriend and he never really gave me any reason not to trust him The last guy I dated I felt an instant an amazing connection with. The thing is I felt I could not trust him. Which I believe was brought on by me snooping into his things, profiles etc. I came not to be able to trust him and I think this is what lead to us not working and him pretty much vanishing without me having any closure. Now to the issue at hand. For the past 6 months I have been seeing another guy who I care very deeply for. He is 37 and I am 21. I've never dated someone that much older than me so it is different. But he is so patient with me, and so good to me, not perfect, but he is great, and talks about a future with me, which is something I never got to talk about with anyone else I've ever dated. He and I text/talk almost daily, we see each other often enough, and I know he wants me around and cares for me, and he's given me no reason not to trust him. But my insecurities from past relationships have begun to rear it's ugly head. It's been like this the past month for me right after we made things official. I'll have to admit that at first the age difference and how serious he is about me had me scared. And before we were a couple and before i felt so strongly about him I did mess around with other people, as well as "talk" with other people because I didn't feel we would ever be a real "thing". Now I don't do that at all, but I feel like that has also made me insecure and has made me project my mistakes onto him and making me think he has done the same. Now suddenly I'm panicking when he doesn't respond quick enough, i'm over-thinking every little detail of everything involving him. Suddenly it's like he's not doing enough and maybe he could do more, but I feel like my insecurities are constantly trying to suffocate me. I guess the point of this thread is just to get this out and talk about it. Like I said I have no reason not to trust him, but my insecurities are making it hard to concentrate on school and work, and even being with him. I'm afraid I'm going to ruin everything. I just need some advice on how to deal with all this. So if anyone needs any further information just ask, any advice or help would be really appreciated
