Can't Make Guy Friends?...

hi!! welcome to EC! im in a similar situation i only have 2 male friends!!! i just dont feet with guys in general. i feel like an outsider too! i am not good at sports and i dont really like football at all so i dont really can make a chat with a guy. dont worry about what other people say! its your life and you chooce your friends! you can messege me if you need to talk! my name is markos

 

yes some time i dont fit* with girls either. But im feeling better around them. when they talk about guys i just listen but sometimes they dont speak openly about it in front of me (im still closeted). a few days ago i found that my sister have a crush on the same boy as me!!!! and that really sucks!!!! also one of my friends(girl) likes me and try to flirt with me!(she dont know that i know it) and that sucks too! me life is kinda messed up. generally girls dont talk about very girly things in front of me becuse they feel uncomfortable. we most of the time talk about movies,video games(they like em too),tv series,music etc! some guys think that im a wierdo but i dont care. some of them are jealeous of me because they are afraid to talk to girls! some have asked me for help. hahaha(!)

 

So I have been at Uni for a week now and I could round off 10-15 guys I have made friends with the last week. The situation is different because during freshers everyone is looking for friends but honestly the best way to make guy friends is to go out drinking with one that you know vaguely and just be like "hey, i'm bored fancy going for a pint?". Alternatively tell your girl mates how you feel so they can invite friends along with them when you hang out. My method for the last week has just been partying and meeting people on the night and starting up conversations but in your situation that may be difficult cus of confidence so I would suggest meet male friends through girl mates. There's one fact that is true for most guys though, they wont turn down a free drink so offer to get rounds in etc and get some dutch courage
P.s. i dont mean get wasted just use the social lubricant enough to relax

 

Yes a lot of times but im scared!!! I dont want them to stop hanging out with me...:icon_sad:

 

I share your feelings!

I'm in my 20's and have no male friends. I have become a socially awkward person, I don't go out much as I am afraid of always being seen with girls.

This is extremely hard at work, where I can not relate at all with my fellow male co-workers. I don't know why it is so hard for me and how do I overcome this? Why do I also always feel inferior? I feel like I can never have male friends because I don't like football nor do I like talking about girls (as if i were talking about my favourite dish).

 

Just be nice and sociable. Your orientation is your own business.

 

ahh I feel ya. I feel like I don't have the same kind of attitude or act like they do, and I get too shy and awkward. It's not so bad though, girl friends are awesome. You could try and find other guys who are feeling like you, or you can share interests with, though.(&&&)

 

It might sound harsh but people who talk about you behind your back and saying that you are weird are NOT your true friends! I know it's really difficult, but once you get more comfortable in your own skin it will be much easier to make real friends with people you are comfortable with, be it girls or guys.

I think first you need to adress why it is a problem for you that you do not have any male friends. Would you be a happier person if you had male friends, or if you had friends that genuinely cared for you? I think it all comes down to self acceptance.

I'm sure you will find friends who accept you and support you the way you are. If you're really having trouble with self esteem and making friends, I would recommend therapy. It did wonders for me.

 

I was able to get male friends, but I had to try really hard to get Male friends, I had to talk to guys one on one, I talked to the other guys who would hang around with some of my friends(predominately female). I joined a quiet group at Lunch and we just sat around and chilled(didn't have anything in common with them, not really a friendship group, but more just a hangout group).

I began to realize at the end of grade 12, a lot of the guys I tried to make friends with made fun of me and teased me. I decided to stay friends with the only person to invite me to a party. (At that time I had a big crush on him), (I honestly believed he was playing hard to get with me).

I think that people who talk about behind your back are definitely not proper friends, I had a lot of guys that did that and every single guy called me weird at one stage. I think for me at 17 I decided I had way too many female friends and not a single guy friend. I honestly did not go into it thinking about everything every step of the way, but I wanted to get more male friends. It was hard to get them as I really only made 3 guy friends in my entire social life,(3 guys who legitimately had conversations and were really friendly to me and didn't talk about me behind my back).

In terms of your question I would like to say that if you are happy with lots of female friends you shouldn't have to bother, but if you are stressed with not having many male friends, just try what I did and you may get a few true friends who are male. I only got 3 male friends from it, but those three guys are really good friends of mine, the one thing though is one of three is living in the far north now, so it's at two male friends and female friends still outnumber the guys.

 

I've had many male and female friends growing up, I guess it's because I'm straight acting. I only really felt weird when my guy friends would talk about girls or when girls liked me. High School was easy for me and being popular did help, lol. But I still felt weird. Why?because I was gay. So obviously I was different so I'm bound to feel different. That's what you feel. So don't expect to not feel at least a bit different around guys. Unless your not gay then your just not comfortable about yourself. My advise to you is STOP THINKING!. Most of the time people become their own walls too progress.

---------- Post added 26th Nov 2014 at 07:00 PM ----------

You should just go up to a guy and talk about something that interest you. You can talk about anything and most likely they will answer you. You might not become friends but repeat eventually you'll make a guy friend.

GOOD LUCK!

 

go were guys go find a common interest talk and sooner or later you will become friends or enemies or frenimies

 

I know exactly what you mean when you say it's because you're afraid of people knowing that you're gay. I used to feel the exact same way when I was in high school and only hung around the girls in my school.

As I said before, it's all about self acceptance. I think I realized that it doesn't matter if people put a label on you, everbody is going to do that anyway, whether it be straight, gay, ugly, funny, etc. It really helped to talk about it with my best friends and take the step to come out to them. They made me realize that they didn't care and that was all I needed to care about.

Therapy helped me because it forced me to try to change the ways I think about things. Sometimes you need a professional to help you analyze yourself so you can get to know the heart of the matter.

I first went to the school counselor at my university because I was struggling with depression. She told me about ways to get help. So I went to the hospital and told them about my problems and they set up an appointment with a therapist and gave me antidepressant, so now I'm finally starting to feel better again.

I don't know about the welfare system in Greece, but I'm sure there's a way. Maybe there's a center for young adults or something that will offer therapy or just a couple of sessions with a counselor.