Salut (i hope that's right) I have one uncle, my mom's only brother, who has been a father figure in our family. He's messed up almost all of my cousins' lives, he got his brother-in-law blacklisted and other cousins of mine as well. Everyone has been understanding and forgiving in my family. They've even given him numerous chances only for him to screw up again. He's screwed me over a few times in the past but, just like everyone else, i forgave and forgot. When i came out to him, he told me, straight up, that my ''nature'' will lead me to hell. Yep he's one of those christians! Everytime he comes back into my life, it usually ends up with me nursing emotional scars. He does things that slowly kill one's confidence in humanity. Recently, i've been considering staying as far away from him as possible. I'm not sure, but i think minimal contact with him will do me some good. My question is, do you think it's ok to distance oneself from toxic relatives, especially when they are really close to you? I'm not sure how to go about this though.
For completely different reasons than you, but I did distance myself from about half my family. They were, to put it bluntly, a PITA entitled brats (and all of them are adults). You don't get to choose your family, but you get to choose if they are worth your time and love, or not.
Absolutely, it is OK. Personally, I subscribe to what I call the 'Two Hour Rule' of family relations. Meaning that for the most positive relations within the family, all members of the family should be at least two hours plane ride (not car ride - plane ride) from all other members of the family. As a policy for living, it has served me well for decades now - and I really like most of my family (probably because of this policy:lol Your uncle is causing you pain. That he has some blood relation to you is of no consequence and does not somehow grant him the right to do this. If you will be happier with him out of your life - then by all means get as far away from him as fast as you can. Todd
Always give yourself space if you need it. You never know when one day you'll just snap and scream or run away, even possibly both.
Thank you for all your opinions. I have blocked his number and facebook. Maybe that's extreme but i knew that keeping those open would give him an opening into manipulating me. He's done it countless times. You don't think blocking him was too extreme, do you?
I think it's a sensible thing to do TeePee. Like everyone else in your family, you have given him chances only for him to respond with more hurt and abuse. Maintaining a relationship with him will do more harm than good. There comes a point where you have to protect yourself from people like that.
I think it would be sensible enough to distance yourself from him. Even if other family members get mad at you, your own mental health is what's important, and over time they will see why you did what you did. Honestly, I plan on doing the same thing to a good amount of my family members when I get the opportunity, so you're not alone in this.
