I am not half way through my teen years, and I have a serious issue. I have a massive crush on this really sweet guy who I know outside of school. From an objective standpoint, I can see that he is almost certainly gay, but I am questioning if he likes me back. I am a bit of a social moron so I thought I'd ask the internet for advice. Sorry that this is long. -I catch him staring at me when I look nearby -he always is very intense when we speak, or completely crazy -he laughs at all of my terrible puns, and smiles very often -we have so many of the same interests, and are total nerds and once while playing D&D he grabbed onto my leg and said "I'm a Klingon!" and wouldn't let go -maybe I am over analysing, but he sometimes drops as many gay hints as I do when I am around him BUT -I am usually the first person to message -he doesn't even know that I'm gay, I am out to no one -he's really nice anyway, so all of my above evidence could be nonsense -his twin is straight -flirting is not my field I don't know what to do, I mean, we've had sleepovers and things,and I'll be applying for a physics course at his school, but I want to either continue being his friend, or maybe something more. I'm afraid that if I tell him how I feel, he will reject me and not look at me the same, therefore friend = 0. If, however, he does like me, how can I tell him that I like him more?
First off respect for playing D+D its a great game ! secondly why not try doing something like this back to him? or leaning into him whilst you watch TV. If he doesnt move away it's an indicator. Then you can start thinking of how to tell him, maybe send the odd "x" when you say goodnight etc because you can always pass it off as "habit" if he is weirded out by it. What makes you think he is gay?
Next time, stare back at him and wink with a smile. It will either make him blush or he will look weird out. This will sort of hint about what you essentially want to know. Try making physical contact with him, grab his shoulder and ask while staring at his eyes “are you feeling okay?”. Tell him “I like your smile”, or… “was it that funny?” (with a goofy face and tone). Kling-on, that is funny Don’t think too much into this as it is 50/50. How is this relevant? He might be shy or just likes the attention. Ask him, “ why don’t you ever message me, don’t you like me?” – in a not so serious tone. …or so you think. Why not just ask him what he thinks of gay people and slowly sort of hint at him that you might be one. Nice people can be gay too, it’s a proven fact! But I get what you’re saying. I don’t think a completely straight guy would do the things you describe but… then again what do I know. Again, how is this relevant? Oh, maybe as his twin about him, ask if he has a girlfriend etc… be more open to his twin and hope that he will tell his brother that you asked and this will kind of make the wheels turn, if you know what I mean. Same here… People say that you should be confident and not be “ready from the start” that you will get rejected. Also, the more you flirt the easier it becomes (or so I hear…).
@Shinji, in all cases that you asked "How is this relevant?" I thought I was just posting inconsequential pieces of information and it couldn't hurt to check to see if these were negative signs. ---------- Post added 21st Sep 2014 at 03:21 PM ---------- I wanted to avoid this bit due to a lack of stereotypical examples, but more than a few things have indicated to me that he is, then again, perhaps my hope that he is dropping hints often acts adversely to my objectivity, but I think he does indirectly "say" that he's gay all the time, I can't really explain it though. An example of this would be him pointing out that his favourite song of all time is "Same Love," a piece advocating for LGBT marriage rights. I am certainly over analysing this (an unfortunate characteristic of mine) so everyone's suggestions and abilities of discernment are certainly appreciated!
In fact, I tried the tactic that I (probably delusionally) perceive he does. While he helped me search for a mop because he spilled water on the floor a while ago, I discovered that our broom closet stretches to the other end of the house, something I never noticed before! In any case I somehow managed to audibly say "WOW, and I thought the only closets that we had here were metaphorical." He laughed and stepped inside awkwardly. I later proceeded to physically step out of the closet. Maybe I should be less obscure to him, poor guy if he's not gay.... ---------- Post added 21st Sep 2014 at 03:37 PM ---------- Sorry for my winded responses, and thank-you for yours! (Wait, was that offensive? Never mind, it was not intended to be!)
Well played (the joke I mean)! You should maybe bring the subject of LGBT or relationships with him so that if he tells you he's gay, you can reciprocate!
XD That's amazing. But... He didn't have a knee jerk response at all and just kind of awkwardly laughed it off? That's a good sign that he's at least accepting of gay people. Personally I think his Klingon joke is a pretty good sign as well. I don't know a single guy who'd do anything like that with someone who they consider just a friend. Also, I just want to say that I totally relate with you about worrying that you're overthinking. I think I overthink about overthinking things sometimes XD. Good luck!
