Even though I am turning 18 next year, my parents have made it abundantly clear that as long as I am living in their house, I must still follow their rules. That is okay. I am fine with that. However, I made an attempt to set up a living arrangement with a friend, my parents found out, threatened to call my friend and tell her to leave me alone, and forced me to block her on my cell phone and on Facebook. My parents say that they want me to make a good financial decision and they don't understand why I would leave home when they are offering to take care of me but, I can't deal with them suffocating me for 5 more years until I graduate college and get a REAL job and move out. How can I get them to treat me with more respect?
Im in a similar situation, im turning 18 next year june yet im treated like a six year old, kids I know who are smart get good grades, respectful get have some respect since 12. I almost 18 yet I don't get to leave the house when i want to go out with trustworthy friends without some long explanation etc, they always want to know who i'm talking to on the phone, when i'm in my room alone too long, they ask what i'm doing there,I can't have privacy to do simple things unless they aren't home.Some parents you just can't talk to like that, some people have friendly parents that you can talk to like a friend and some don't. Try to do little things that they would like without them asking, and a little extra. Prove to them that you deserve more respect if they won't respond to you direct demands. If all fails play along till you get enough education and have a stable job to maybe move out.
hi there! I can totally feel you ! I've been in a similar situation. What I've come to realize is that your parents don't mean it in a bad way. They're just willing to protect you and care for you. However I know that they should definitely not treat you as a child and give you more respect and freedom you deserve at this age. What about telling them how you feel about them treating you this way? Probably the don't really know that you feel so suffocated at home and there is a possibility that they'll get you and hence treat you better. Hope this helps. Wish you all the best!
Something similar happened to me, and I no longer live at home. As soon as I turned 18 (October 2012), my parents were less opposed to me moving out, going out when and where I wanted and so on. In fact, I think there was a time period I didn't go home for 3 days (which I wouldn't recommend)! I just texted them each day so they knew I was alive. I ended up moving out in February 2013. Now, I'm unsure about your state, but in New Zealand you're legally considered an adult at 18. I think that's what made my parents suddenly okay with me "spreading my wings". Perhaps a similar thing will happen with your parents? But if not, then a good way to perhaps ease them into the idea is to pick up extra chores, perhaps cook dinner a few nights a week if you don't already - prove you can fend for yourself. Show them that you are responsible enough to do this. And hopefully, that will help Good luck ^.^ sorry if this post is a bit scrambled, ive been unwell (and its almost 5am) but hopefully it helps
Hello , I can tell you this as a parent my self that sometimes we are overprotective it is because we love you I too have been that who are you talking to and where are you going parent ! It took my 18 year old saying hey lets talk we have a problem ,she told me what she thought about the way I was and I told her it was because I want to keep her safe ! she said things that I did not like and I did too . But in the end we worked it out I finally understood and let go and gave her some freedom . I am not sure if that will work for you but I do think that you need to talk to them and try to work things out .Good luck I hope it all works out for you
Tried talking to my parents. They said they don't want to hear it. They ask me why I would want to leave and financially struggle like that. I told them that they need to let me breathe a little bit and they told me that they don't want to hear any more about this.
This is starting to sound really unhealthy... like this is less about what's best for you and more about your parents wanting to keep you around by whatever means necessary. Are you by chance an only child, a youngest, or an oldest? Each of those can have special issues in dealing with parents. So one of the questions you need to discern the answer to (and you won't necessarily get it by asking your parents) is whether any financial assistance they would provide for school (helping with tuition, etc.) is really going to go away if you move out. Most parents will threaten this, but won't go through with it for the simple reason they want their kids to succeed. Sometimes, parents will be dicks just for the sake of asserting control. It might be a card you have to play to see if they're bluffing. So one solution could be to simply say, "I understand and appreciate what you're saying, but I will, in fact, be a legal adult and it will be within my rights to make decisions. You may not always agree with my decisions, but those decisions, and the consequences that come with them, are mine, not yours. It is not an option to say that the matter isn't open for discussion, because if you continue to take that approach, I will do what I want, and the result will be that we create a wall where no communication is happening. I don't think that's what either of us want, so finding a way to solve this problem that respects my ability to make decisions and be treated as an adult is part of that process. You can be part of the process or not, so what's really at question here is whether you're going to be participating, or be locked out of the process entirely. It's up to you." That will piss them off, for sure... people with control issues don't like their control being challenged. But it may be the only way to get through to them.
Chip, I'm the oldest kid. This is the first time my parents are having to deal with a kid growing up. My parents had me at a young age (17 and 18). I just turned 17 two days ago, I had another talk with them and, they are more accepting. They never let me get a drivers liscence but, they are letting me apply to jobs and offering to drive me to and from work. Once I get a job, I am going to start paying my phone bill, as well as save money for a car. I think I'm going to be okay. I want to thank you all for the support you have been giving me, it really does give me strength. (&&&)
