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How do we Explain our Relationship to our Parents?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Jguy365, Sep 22, 2014.

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  1. Jguy365

    Jguy365
    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Fort Wayne, Indiana
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    So...I have my first boyfriend, and it's...different. Let me explain it. It might sound odd, but hear me out.

    My boyfriend and I met on Instagram...at the time, we were both in a bad place. We were consumed by lust and were swimming through hashtags to find cute guys to mess around with...I found him and sent him a private message. We exchanged pictures, sexted...unmentionable things like that. At the time, I had not come out to myself yet. I was still in denial, but then I finally did come out to myself (as bisexual, at first) As a Christian, I did a lot of research on homosexual Christians and concluded that being a gay Christian is perfectly fine as long as you are not just fooling around...If I save myself for my special someone, it's totally fine. Anyway...I had my "come to Jesus moment" and then stopped messaging him for a few days...but I couldn't help but feel like God was calling me to help save him from his lust, too. I decided to send him a message explaining the emotional journey I had gone through and that I would pray for him, and he agreed. Turns out, he, too, was going through the exact same thing. From that moment on, we put the past behind us and began messaging a lot. We have both helped each other through many life struggles including but not limited to coming out. He has had a couple of boyfriends come and go...but he finally decided that he loves me with all his heart. He asked me if I would want to be in a relationship with him and I said yes. I wasn't quite sure at the time, but I feel myself falling for him more and more every day. We have so much in common...and he is so sweet and cute. We are planning to meet as soon as possible.

    We both really, really want to tell our parents about us bot don't know how...we are pretty sure that they won't understand. How should we go about explaining our relationship to our parents?

    Disclaimer...I believe that it is completely possible to befriend people through a screen. I've made several friends through the internet and do really care about them. This, I know. I actually cried when one of my online friends dies of Leukemia.
     
    #1 Jguy365, Sep 22, 2014
  2. Blossom85

    Blossom85
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    I know how you feel... I had the exact thing happen to me. I fell for a beautiful and wonderful woman online and we both fell completely in love. I am not sure how far apart you two are in terms of physical location geographically wise, but my ex is in America and I am in Australia.. For months and months, I had the same problem.. How to tell my parents.. I thought they would be more understanding of her being a woman then the fact I fell in love online without ever meeting her.. For us, in the end distance became too much and she ended it.. I only ended up mentioning it to my parents after the fact when I was trying to get over her and my mum was actually upset that I felt I couldn't be honest and tell her about it beforehand..

    This is what I wanted to do so many times.. Sit my mum down, and just say that I needed to talk to her.. She has suspicions I was talking to someone anyway cause I always had this goofy looking wide eyes and big smile on my face when were were messaging. So I would have asked to talk to her or them together and just kind of broached the subject gently.. Just say you have met someone you believe you are falling for. They might have their suspicions as well, but just waiting for you to say something. I guess the other thing you need to consider is are you ready to come out to them if you haven't already.. Cause I don't think it's a good idea to lead them on and make them believe the someone you have met is a girl, so I think wait till you are ready to take that step and then broach the subject with them like that.. I know it's a hard though to just openly come out and say difficult things like that.. But I think it could be a relief for you, just be open and honest.. I guess as well it all depends on how your family feel on LGBT subjects and if they support it as well, but if you know this is who you want in your life and in your future, you need to just step up and just be brave enough talk to them.
     
    #2 Blossom85, Sep 22, 2014
  3. WannaBeMe

    WannaBeMe
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    It is a good thing that you asked. In my opinion don't tell your family until you are emotionally ready for rejection and any form of yelling and screaming about it. Especially in a Christian family. I have some similar problems minus the boyfriend. I am a Christian and gay. That's perfectly fine the only people that said anything against homosexuality were men in the bible not Jesus. I would go on but I have to go, just remember like I said Be emotionally prepared
     
    #3 WannaBeMe, Sep 23, 2014
  4. shinji

    shinji Guest

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    Don't do anything before you two actually meet, and spend some time together. Trust me, in person, people aren't always what they seem online. Problem with online dating is that it's far too easy to project expectations on the person on the other side, because of how little you know about them, regardless of how much actual facts you've shared.

    After you meet and if you still feel the same way, do whatever makes you happy. The opinion of your parents (whether they approve or not) is completely irrelevant to your own happiness. If they care for you then they want you to be happy, am i right?
     
    #4 shinji, Sep 23, 2014
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