Okay so as you can see from my profile I am currently out to two friends, a boy and a girl. They have been dating for about nine months now (something like that at least), and early on I found their relationship kind of cute. I told them this constantly, and said things like "can I take a picture of you two?" and "you two have something special." So I was really supportive of their relationship. I noticed from the get-go that the boy relied on her for pretty much all of his emotional problems, which he had pretty much every day (he has a history with cutting...she was actually the one who helped him stop). Anyway, he was really clingy to her. I tried to help him every now and then, but he didn't really accept my help in most cases. I also texted them frequently last school year, both of them pretty much every day. I was usually the first one to engage, and during the time I was talking to them they were usually talking to each other too. Over the summer my contact with them was minimal. I didn't even text the boy once, and the girl only a few times. So anyway, a few weeks ago school starts up again, and I see them. And I see that they are still together, but the guy is still just as clingy, if not more so than before. He is a grade below me and my girl friend, but he's always showing up in between classes at the Junior lockers, which are, by the way, halfway across the high school. He tries to set up private lunches with her nearly every day, and when he's not having lunch with her just the two of them, he's trying to eat lunch with her and her friends. He also constantly asks her if they can spend time together after school, pretty much every day. Oh, and of course there are multiple PDAs every day. Whether it's just a hug, him resting his head on her shoulder, or them just simply staring at each other and whispering...I used to find it cute, but now it just makes me really uncomfortable. Now, I would expect that from a couple in the first month or so of dating. I think both were pretty clingy at that point. But he's become even more clingy as time progressed, and I know I'm not imagining this because some of my friends have noticed that she's still spending way too much time a high school boyfriend and girlfriend should be spending with each other. NO other couple their age goes to the extent they go! And frankly...it's gotten to the point where it's kind of creepy. I don't find their relationship cute anymore. I don't know, I just don't like them together. I try to tell myself that it surely won't last much longer. I mean, clingy dependent relationships like that never do, and although that's true...she has a really hard time letting go, and sometimes she feels like she has to please everybody. She dated a senior in her freshman year. A SENIOR! There was a fucking three year age gap, it was never cute, it was creepy from the start, and you know the worst part? She wasn't able to break up with him until he was midway through his freshman year in college!!! And even after that she felt immensely guilty...so I can only imagine how she'd feel dumping a guy she helped through cutting himself! Also, maybe this is just in my head, but I feel like he initiates a lot of the stuff first. I don't think she's clinging to him...I think he's clinging to her, and eventually, if she hasn't already, she will lose interest in him but stay with him due to tremendous guilt if she left. So...I'm not really sure why I'm making this topic. I know it's kind of stupid. I know I can't do anything. But I feel like because of this I have been secretly trying to avoid both of them...and they've started to notice that something might be wrong. I don't think telling them would be a good idea and further alienating myself from them...but I just need some way to cope with this while they're still together. It's been really bugging me lately. Any suggestions/support? Even just a reply that doesn't answer this would probably make me feel better right now.
Tell the girl your concerns, and leave it at that. That's all you can do. They have to deal with it, not you.
But I'm worried...what if she takes it poorly? Despite me trying to distance myself from her, her friendship does matter to me. Last year she had a best friend who constantly put her down because of her relationship with this guy...this friend has since left, but I was always helping her get through it when she had had some really bad emotional breakdowns...so it might feel like I'm betraying her if I tell her I actually don't support her or something.
