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Trying to be more open with him

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by nottalatu, Sep 25, 2014.

  1. nottalatu

    Regular Member

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    So recently I've been doing some simple gay stuff with a friend of mine, just sucking eachother off and stuff, and we never talk about it unless we're in the moment. And at that, it usually takes a while for either of us to take the initiative, like we've had moments where we were sitting in the grass for at least thirty minutes asking eachother what we want to do, and responding with I don't know. Then we would attempt shit like, "What do you want to do right now?" and it would really take a while for him to offer anything.

    He's the first dude I've done anything with, so I'm kind of awkward about it and he's always been the one to start it, but I really want to start being able to talk about it at the very least and I have no idea how to start that. There's not gonna be a real relationship out of this, just more or less a friend with benefits type thing, but I kind of like this guy. I wouldn't want to lock down with him, but I'd really like to just be open about it between just me and him. I'd honestly just want to get to the point where we can kiss, but I kind of feel like that's reserved for people that have a thing and not something strictly lustful.

    I was thinking I should start saying to him that certain dudes are hot, because the only time homosexuality ever comes up is when we're in the moment and that might open the idea up a bit more, but I really don't know. I don't wanna just come out of no where with it, because he's definitely more confident than me and I'd like it more for him to continue taking the initiative, so telling me to just straight talk to him about it won't help. I just need advice on how to open it up more between us without putting myself out there all too much.
     
    #1 nottalatu, Sep 25, 2014
    Last edited: Sep 25, 2014
  2. shinji

    shinji Guest

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    Sounds to me that you are both somewhat passive (you, more than him). This is not something necessarily bad but it can make interactions difficult. Since your friend obviously won't take the initiative and you yourself see the problem for what it is, the only logical solution would be for you to step up and be more direct.

    Start by asking him how he feels about you personally and about what you two are doing together. Then tell him that you like his company but are not yet ready to "settle down". Don't just come off saying "yeah i only want you for your body"...