I'll keep this short... (lol joking...) Few weeks ago i met this guy online in some random dating site and we somehow started chatting (forgot who initiated it) and turns out we "clicked" but only as friends. So we chat like... almost every day, sometimes voice/video, other times just chat... We play video games together from time to time. He tells me about his days (i need to force the info out of him though) and i tell him about mine... Basically, what normal friends would do. We have a lot of interests in common (apart from taste in music and clothes, his are terrible!). He's not really attractive in a... "oh my god i want to do you so badly" kind of way but instead looks more like "aww i want to hug you and never let go". So i haven't really fallen for him because of reasons explained below... but, i am kind of standing on the verge of falling for him, like... i can go either way if i give myself a slight push. Now the problems. - he's somewhat younger than me. - he has stated that he didn't really like me because i was "boring"?! - although he is from my country (which is a huge plus) he lives like... 4-5 hours away by car in a village (notice, not town, village). - he is somewhat... erhm... like an unpolished diamond, mainly due to the whole "living in a village" thing. At this point i know i should just forget about it, but i'm... curious, what can happen. Obviously a serious relationship is out of the question but... i really want to see if i could perhaps change his mind about me. So right now we are really open to one another, we basically tell each other everything. And i often (jokingly) tell him that i love him and that he should become my boyfriend, to which he replies in a very cute "grumpy" way with a "no" or "in your dreams" ...ah so cute! Anyway... so, i'm kind of confused about what i should do. My best plan right now is to leave things as they are but... my "inner voice" (the evil one) tells me to push and see if i can make him fall for me. I'm a terrible person... ---------- Post added 26th Sep 2014 at 06:37 PM ---------- I'm just going to steal this thread to post another (related) thing... So again, through the miracle of online dating sites, i met this guy who is really cute, 21 years old, bisexual, actually likes how i look and even teased me today with his webcam, after he took a shower (this is relevant to the post), nothing kinky...just...above waist stuff. Also, most of what i typed above as a "description" applies here as well... Anyway he lives in a completely different time zone, +6 from me, so... yeah. Also he apparently has a LDR with some guy who...funnily enough, is a lot closer to me than him. I know a relationship is out of the question but... what would you guys do in this situation?!
What would I do? Not bother with online dating sites. Seems to me that most people on them aren't really looking for an actual relationship, anyways.
Don't bother with people you meet online, they are completeley anonymous and some will go through lengths to fool you, even create an album of like 20 pictures of one person which looks like themself to be convincing which are actually some male model, search their pics in google images if they look too professional, some will ask you your personal info, like ur facebook twitter not to get to know you but so they can use you info to blackmail you and tell bad things about you to your friends. And even if the person is real nothing prevents them from doing all those bad things anyway if they don't care about their identity. never give them your phone number because they can harass you, give your number to random strangers, especially not you home number because they can talk to your family members. Don't tell them what school you go to because they can email and call the school and tell them all you business or pretend to be your friend and ask people in your work and school about you. Only give info to people you know in real life. Wouldn't Your friends know your basic info like your school adress, phone number already if they are your friend? showing you address, town, school, etc on the internet to strangers is liking walking around with a sign on your chest with all your personal info. Sounds weird right? Well that is what you do when to share with strangers online.
Thanks for the concerns, to both of you, but... you do realize that i'm not a kid right? I've actually spend a good chunk of time feeding off the dark energies of the deep web, so it's not like i'm not aware of the "tricks" and how to be safe. Anyway, so... i'm guessing, have a "online fling" with the guy that lives on the other side of the planet and, maybe stop pestering the guy that is from my country? Sound like the logical thing to do... Maybe i should see if i can get this other guy to fall for me, really curious to see what can happen. And it would be a lot easier to break it off since, doh he lives on the other side of the universe. While the guy from my country, i can be friends with. So... good plan or...no? On a side note... There are around 7.000.000 people in my country, after some math (gah i hate math) it comes down to... around 200.000 people that are potentially gay. Out of those 200.000, how many do you think live in my city (which is among one of the biggest for my country) and are actually fitting my "criteria" and i fit theirs? I'm guessing, not a lot... so yeah. Online dating it is...
Can I just say.. Please be careful with an online fling.. Not cause of the reasons someone else mentioned..but cause of emotional reasons.. It's one thing to say it's easier to break off.. But let me tell you.. In my experience.. It didn't make it any easier on me when my LDR (different country) ex girlfriend I met online broke it off through text message saying she couldn't do it anymore.. It didn't make my pain any less easier or make it hurt less.. I was left heartbroken cause I truly fell for her, and honestly thought we would make a life together when she had finished college and it made it even harder for me when I found out she had met someone else only three weeks after she broke it off with me.. So please don't tell me it is easier.. It might be for the person breaking it off.. But for the other person.. It is damn hard.. Especially when you have fallen for that person.. So I think if you wanna go for an online relationship that is LDR... You make sure to be careful, cause you and him might end up getting bruised and broken hearts and if you are gonna go in with that attitude, to get him to fall for you and that it will be easier to break off.. Then it doesn't sound like a good idea to me to getting yourself into.
This is going to sound dumb, but I honestly think you should go with your gut instincts. My partner has an online friend and they've been friends for years. They've even met in person before even though she lives in a completely different state. So go on your instincts, but also maybe you should meet them face to face a few times somewhere public before making your final decision.
The OP is speaking about having an online fling and possibly getting the other person to fall.. But then still having the ability to break it off as it's easier online.. Now that to me is different then just having an online friend like you are mentioning. I have a lot of online friends, a couple that I considered to be best friends and both live in different countries and never met either of them.. And they live in different countries so would be hard to meet a few times face to face if they can't afford it.
I'll follow your advice Blossom, will not do anything with both guys seeing as how basically it's a waste of time to go for the guy that lives in a +6 time zone, and the other one as well, seeing as how he's simply not interested in me as in... more than a friend. And i'd rather fall for someone than "settle" out of necessity. But i really am left with no options at finding a boyfriend... If we exclude dating websites and basically, everything online... I just want to hug someone so badly.
Being gay makes it easy to become desperate, dont be desperate! As you've said, maybe 200,000, become good friends first before jumping into a relationships. even if the person is genuine dont get worked up about someone from the other side of a screen. And don't think that your too smart and ignore my previous post. I have crushes on guys and move to another guy by the next week and im currently on crush #5, who knows if ill reach 20 or 50, we seem to connect alot but well I'm not focusing on relationship really and i'll still be friends with him if he's straight, plus we are both in the closet, don't be an asshole that locks off guys as soon as you find out their straight, it looks bad.
I think falling for someone you really want to be with is so much better then settling cause you feel lonely.. And I think a long distance relationship would solve the loneliness anyway, especially if you are craving physical affection like hugs and holding hands etc. I honestly know how you feel, I really do.. I have that craving to just hug someone so much and just be able to snuggle with someone on a lounge while watching tv. You never know when you might meet someone as well, so try not to get your hopes up Hun (*hug*)
I am smart, but not when it comes to my personal life... Also i didn't ignore you, i simply had nothing to add and took what you said into consideration. True, but some days it's like... the possibility of me actually finding someone with whom i can do those things (huggies and stuff (/^▽^)/ ), is next to impossible. Like for example... today in the bus there was this gay couple (like, i'm 95% sure they were a couple!), and one of them was like really old (think 40 or something), and the other one was probably younger than me. And they looked really happy... and they were like... really ugly, i mean like... both of them, but the younger one especially. Yet they were happy together... So if this can happen for them, why can't it for me? It's not like i'm getting younger, if finding a boyfriend IRL is next to impossible, then, what other choice do i have? I'm actually, even considering going to a gay club... -.-
Yes i'm a mean person, it's not something i'm ashamed of... You know, when i see something i just say what i feel. I don't read books, no pictures... -.- Manga on the other hand, yes. But the last one spiraled me into depression so i kind of avoid it at the moment. Ice-cream, i am trying to stop actually... It's making me feel lazy, at least i haven't gotten fat but... still... hate feeling lazy. During the last week i ate like, two boxes a day, and those are 800 ml boxes, mind you!
