I finally found a great guy we get along really well. We have been together for about a month and ive fallen for him hard. I spent 5 or 6 weekends with him over his apt . We cuddled made out and had oral sex alot. Our personalities match so well. I can see myself being with this man forever. However we have not had sex. When confronted with it he says because he wants to take it slow . He is afraid rushing into things will end it. He has also recently had surgery on his ass about a month and a half ago. However that shouldnt be an issue because I am verse. He keeps telling me to be assertive but yet he wants to take it slow. Im confused thats completely mixed signals. We havent actually gone out either because neither of us have decent jobs and can only see each other on weekends. I really like him and I cant really explain why. He says he feels the same but the mixed signals are throwing me . Im a very sexual guy and i want this to work . :bang:
I'm kinda going through a similar situation. It's true that sex plays a big deal in a relationship you should be glad that at least you are having sex (yet not anal) and you are happy together I'd suggest you get more passionate in bed and plan a "special night" and maybe he'll agree on going further.
It may be that he wants to wait in order to savor and enjoy the moment, and possibly the sexual tension that I assume exists between you during these first days together. However, as most things in life, even good things can be taken too far. But, this is actually an opportunity: you have learned that he likes to take things slow. If it is, as I suspect, because he understands that taking the long way home, as it were, heightens the experience, you will need to plan your "first time" in more or less the same way. I suspect he wants to make it special, so focus on that! Try to find creative ways to make the experience memorable, special, a kind of complicit planning that you can enjoy together. You may want to set a date, and, in the meantime, enjoy that tension as it builds to the day of the main event. Worth a try, and definitely a great opportunity for you to learn more about him and hence love him even more.
Oral sex still counts as sex. Not all gay men like anal; some gay men actively hate it and stick to oral only; he could be one of them. Or he could be new to anal and is nervous about it. Or maybe he's the kind of guy that thinks It's a bigger deal and wants to wait until he trusts the person. There are so many possibilities.
I for one am not that big of a fan of anal. This guy might be too. Like Fallingdown stated, oral sex still counts. He probably just wants to err on the side of caution and not have anything bad happens. Can you imagine him going to the hospital and explaining whatever happened and what was the cause of it to his family?
