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Am i a bad friend or not? Open to suggestions.

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Confused Teen18, Sep 26, 2014.

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  1. Confused Teen18

    Confused Teen18
    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Jamaica
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    A few people
    My best friend of 3 years has really started to annoy me. What i liked about him was that he was very funny, and easy to talk to. Everything was fine until i decided to come out to him.

    Now, i do understand everyone will have their different view on homosexuality but every time it came up, he kept saying "Are you sure you are gay?......but why?". I keep telling him "yes, i am gay..whats the big deal? thats what makes me happy". I looked at it like this....If he's to be my best friend then there's no need for me to lie to him. But every time the truth comes up, he tries to push it away.

    I've already told him that i'm not into him like that and he said it is quite fine. One time, he told me that if i were to be gay, i'd have to give him a threesome with my gf. I found this quite disrespectful and i've told him multiple times. Now, i barely talk to him anymore. I want to know if i'm doing the right thing or if i'm just making a big mistake. Any suggestions?
     
    #1 Confused Teen18, Sep 26, 2014
  2. Gen

    Gen
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    It sounds as though he keeps questioning who you are because his personal attractions conflict with it. He wants you to be heterosexual or a pseudo-lesbian in order for something to arise between the two of you. You have been as gentle with him as anyone could ask. In the case that he brings up it again, I would be frank with the reality that even in the case that you were interested in men, you would not be interested in him. It is not that you are not with him because you consider yourself a lesbian. You are not with him because, regardless of your orientation, you feel nothing for him at the end of the day.

    Heterosexuals have a tendency to convince themselves that all they have to do is convince a homosexual person to switch over to the other side, but the reality is that you being interested in the opposite sex would not send you racing after him any faster than the majority of other heterosexual and bisexual women on this planet. It might sound harsh to be brutally honest if you consider him a friend, but he is definitely being no friend to you with his childish ignorance.
     
    #2 Gen, Sep 26, 2014
  3. Fallingdown7

    Fallingdown7 Guest

    No, if anything he is being the bad friend. He is being very heterosexist by shoving your sexuality aside, and wanting to disbelieve it or use it for his own pleasure (Threesomes, etc).

    I don't understand why straight people have such egos about themselves with gay people. It either goes like this. With the opposite sex, they think they could be enough to turn that person. With the same sex, they have a fear that they're secretly being lusted over. Why the hell do they think they're so special; regardless of orientation I'd never be interested either.
     
    #3 Fallingdown7, Sep 26, 2014
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