Is physical attraction essential?

I think that's a matter of personal opinion. For some people it might be essential. For others it might factor in a little but not really matter in the end. I always think of a quote from Doctor Who when this subject comes up: "And then you get to know them and their face just sort of becomes them. Like their personality's written all over it. And they just turn into something so beautiful." Basically, someone might not fit exactly what you're looking for outwardly, but they can be such a beautiful human being that you don't even notice or care. I think that kind of spirit is much more important than outward appearances.

 

"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you cannot be ugly."
-- The Velveteen Rabbit

 

Personal opinion. For me It's not important. I do feel physical attraction, but It's not enough to make me want to date someone, and if I like the character that can cause sexual attraction on It's own. For others, It's important.

 

Hmm I think it depends but we can't rule out physical attraction. I mean when you meet someone for the first time the first thing you notice is their body and trait, etc. You might be attracted just because you like the way they look. These feelings can change overtime, for me no matter how hot a woman is, if she's not a good person that would totally put me off. Physical attraction is good but with time it eventually fades and if you are after something more than casual than you are going to need much more to keep it going in my opinion.

 

Can I just say that this is totally unbelievably awesome? I think it sums it up perfectly. As someone who forms emotional bonds first in relationships I can say physical attraction does not have much to do with it. But as I come to know the person and love them, he/she becomes attractive no matter what, they become "Real"

 

Yes, I think physical attraction is essential, and based on my experiences dating people who I was not physically attracted to. One girl in particular was awesome, we got along so well, but I couldn't look pass her physical appearance. There was also my ex girlfriend who was not my type at all, but it didn't bother me at first because I fell in love with who she was.

Although, things did not last because I loss interest in her because the physical attraction was not there. It was never there honestly, but I was hoping that I'd feel different about her.

Sadly, and I hate to admit this, but out of all (6) of the women I have dated, there was only one who I thought was absolutely beautiful :icon_redf

Some people can grow on you, but for me, it usually does not last long, which sucks because I am a firm believer that beauty is only skin deep.

 

Depends on what exactly "physical attraction" means to you. Is it the face, the body, a combination of the two... to what extent can one be better than the other or must both be on par with each other. What if the personality was really shitty? What if the body was "meh" but the attitude was great? What if the body is simply "neglected" but the person had a great personality?

It's all connected, one can't exist without the other, both must meet a certain criteria which is different for each individual. Can a person truly fall in love by simple being physically attracted to someone? Yeah, sure... but then it's not really love but... desire.

Or something like that, have a brain freeze, can't think straight.

 

I think both looks and personality are essential; you can't just have one to make a relationship work, you need both. The exact ratio, however, depends on the people involved on a case by case basis.

 

If I get along really well with someone, but I'm not physically attracted to them, they are my friend. I'm not saying looks are everything, we all know they aren't, but they are something. I can't date someone I'm not attracted to

 

I don't even know what physical attraction even feels like because I'm not able to recognize that someone is even hot at all. Pretty much every woman just looks the same or looks boring/bland to me in general. It's really what they do that makes their physical features stand out

 

For me, physical and emotional attraction are two somewhat different things. I can totally appreciate someone who's physically beautiful, but I'd have to feel an emotional tug of some kind in order for the beauty to matter. And in fact, I fell for my boyfriend basically sight unseen (through posts here on EC, actually), and by the time we met in person, I was already so attracted to him that I doubt that his looks wouldn't have mattered a bit to me. In fact, my feelings for him have made him the most beautiful guy in the world for me, and no opinions to the contrary could convince me otherwise. So not only is physical attraction not really essential for me, it can also be created out of emotional and mental attraction.

 

I think it's pretty important, but it's certainly not everything.

 

Physical attraction is very important. I think you can tell a lot about someone by the way they carry themselves, there are a lot of non-verbal cues-- the way they walk or stand, the way they speak to others, the way they react when you are speaking to them, etc. It's always the little things. Also, a little bit of sensuality goes a long way.

 

I think there has to be some physical attraction, otherwise it will end up being a good friendship, kind of like "I love you but I don't want you". To me physical attraction doesn't mean a person has be extremely good-looking, they could be ordinary, as long as I can look at them and think "cute". Mannerisms and personality certainly contribute to that.

 

I think physical attraction is important, but that doesn't mean that the person has to be perfect, hot, etc, etc in a traditional way. There has to be something that makes you want to be intimately close to that person, and it may be traits that you can't even consciously identify. Without those, all you will have is a friend.

I have experienced this on dates before. The person seemed to have a great personality, we shared interests, but for one reason or another I wasn't feeling anything, and knew it probably wouldn't turn into anything else.

Also, i don't think you need to be 100% compatible with your partner. Actually it's probably better for both people if they have differences, otherwise there is no room to grow as people through a relationship.

 

To an extent.

I mean, you have to at least be able to get a boner.

 

:lol:

I'm not saying that looks are most important. But they have to be at least attractive enough for you to be able to have some sort of sexual feelings. The attractiveness may arise from their personality more than their looks, but there needs to be some spark.