There's a girl I worked with who I've had a crush on for a long time. I recently quit my job, and my last week there she told me that she had a crush on me. At the time she was engaged to a man, but she is currently in the process of breaking things off with him, and moving out. I really like her, but I am wary of dating someone who is just getting out of a long term relationship. Then last night I took her out to a party with a bunch of friends. We all had a great time, but I got a little too drunk. We ended up coming back to my place, and she asked if she could stay over because she was too tipsy to drive. Then she crawled into my bed. This is the part where I turn into the biggest idiot on the face of the earth. Instead of making out with the girl of my dreams, I passed out drunk. IDIOT. And it gets worse. I also sleepwalk, and usually I sleep naked, and alcohol exacerbates the sleepwalking. So apparently at some point I woke up and took off all my clothes and crawled back into bed. She woke me up this morning, and I had on no clothes. I was mortified. I apologized, and fortunately I had mentioned my sleepwalking before hand so she knew I wasn't just making that up on the spot. She said that it was funny, and it just made me that much more interesting. But she's really nice. Way too nice to tell me if I screwed up big time or not. So my questions are; Did I annihilate any hope of ever dating this girl? How do I fix this? And is it too soon after her last relationship to date her?
Hi thischick. Sorry I didn't see this earlier. From the sound, I *think* things are cool with this girl. I'm not sure there's anything to "fix". It sounds like a good experience, to be honest. I would think things are good. Maybe contact her later, play it a little sheepish, see how she reacts?
Thanks starfleet! I sure hope so! I've been going out of my mind for two days now. I just feel like such a dumb ass. I'm afraid she's going to think I'm some crazy alcoholic or something. Hopefully this can be a funny story that we laugh about later, and not the thing that kept me from dating the most beautiful girl in the world.
Take a deep breath, Sweetie. It's okay. (*hug*) I think you do have a kind of cute meet story with her. I have probably the least dating experience for an adult my age in history, but I see nothing negative here.
I was mostly concerned about the drinking? She's not exactly a goody two shoes herself or anything, but I think she's a lot more subdued than I am. I'm like the crazy, wild ass, super fun person that you want to hang out with until I get too drunk and pass out naked. And she's the kind of person who is calm and always has it together. I thought that taking her to this party would be good because she had complained about how boring her last relationship had been. And I definitely wasn't boring. But I don't want her thinking I'm a drunk. I only drink once or twice a month, but when I do I tend to overdo it.
Haha. I'm not about this life, but I can probably assure you that you didn't make a fool of yourself! She said it was fine, right? I believe it is okay to lighten up. When you have two personalities that are opposites conflict with each other, it interests both parties. So, yeah. I think she's capable enough to understand what had happened, especially if you're worried about it. Nothing's wrong with overdoing something if you don't do it often-- in my opinion. She seems like an awesome person, too. So, nope! You didn't screw up anything. If anything, you just made it a little.. better? Fun? Sorry if that's a little late.
I think we all do things that we find embarrassing, it doesn't meant it has hurt your chances.. However what I would be concerned at is if she is still going through a break up.. I would just be there for her as a friend at this point, you don't wanna be her re-rebound so I think it is right to feel a little wary of becoming involved with someone who has just come out of a relationship where she was planning on getting married. She needs time to grieve and move on from her last relationship.. Think about it logically.. She was engaged to him and was planning a life with him.. Even if it was her that broke it off, it is still going to be a major life changing decision for her and you need to give her time.. And you don't want to get involved, fall for her more and then her decide she isn't ready..
I feel like I would be...intrigued. Especially if she was kind of into you from the jump, and then had to spend an entire night in bed with you, naked for some of it. Just imagining being her in that situation, I would be super aware of you, but confused. But it wouldn't have killed it for me. It sounds like you had a good time, and you already know she likes you. Maybe she's feeling like you aren't really into her if you didn't make a move. I would say now would be the time.
Thanks for the advice everyone, coz I really need it. I was in an extremely abusive relationship that ended about two years ago, and I haven't been able to date a single person since then. This girl is the first time that I have even really been able to become attracted to another living soul. I really like her, and I don't want to screw it up. I want to give her all the time she needs to move on from this previous relationship. I only like someone about every 5 years or so, so I'm willing to wait. We've already talked a little about how we like each other, but neither of us wants this to be a rebound relationship. So we haven't really been dating yet, just hanging out and texting a lot. The thing is that it's awkward just kicking it all the time with someone that you know you're interested in and vice versa. So far my strategy has been just to give her time, and let her inform me of when she's ready to date. I guess that's all I really can do. What would you do? Should I go for it? Or should I hold off on this for a while? She was with that dude for a long time. I'm sure it will take her a little bit to feel like she's regained the part of herself that she gave up when she became attached to him.
Hi! My instincts say give it a little time. She knows you are interested, maybe after a little space she'll be ready, and maybe she'll rember that you didn't push and will respect that about you.
Yeah, that's pretty much what I had thought. That's how I would like to be treated if I were her. Hopefully we will have lots of time to get to know each other. The important thing is that I didn't scare her away with premature, unplanned nudity. Lol.
