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Daddy issues

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by marisouza, Sep 28, 2014.

  1. marisouza

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    Hi, soooo, I'm 15 and I'm embracing all my gayness (go me!), I'm really confortable with myself, and have already came out to my friends, uncle and my mom (who didn't take me seriously).
    In a few months, I'm going to study abroad, and I was thinking of telling my father that we're more alike than he thinks ("Dad, guess what...I LIKE BOOBS TOO!" (*hug*)), the thing is my dad is a very tradicional guy, we have a great relationship right now, but I'm worried he will freak out and make things weird. Should I go for it?
    PS: I met my dad when I was 13, and I don't really want to screw things up now that we are conecting or something (is that what you say when you're able to burp in front of each other?), but, at the same time, I don't want to tell him by phone which will most likely happen if I come out to him while I'm abroad.
     
  2. resu

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    What does he say about LGBT stuff in the news or locally?
     
  3. thischick7

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    How did your mom react other than not beieving you? Did she seem angry? Are they religious at all? Is there any chance that your mom already told your dad? If I were married, and I found out my kid was gay, I would tell my significant other. Then we would have a big gay party though, not familial upheaval.
     
  4. marisouza

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    Basically, he curses a lot when it comes to gay people...I tried to make him understand more of the LGBT stuff in casual family talks, and he said one time: "If I had a gay son, I wouldn't let him touch his boyfriend if he was in the same room as me. That we'd be disgusting..."
    It doesen't seems like it, but he's a really nice guy, I just think he can't understand the whole situation that a gay person is in, and he doesen't ever give me a chance to try and explain it properly.

    ---------- Post added 29th Sep 2014 at 05:27 PM ----------

    My mom is in denial, I guess. She's trying tough...
    When I told her, she actually didn't have ANY reaction, which was weird, she didn't say a word to me. The day after, she was treating me normally and we spoke very poorly about it ever since. I mean, I told her I kissed this cute girl, and she just said "ok, just be careful", I guess she's really trying, even tough it makes her unconfortable.
    My mom and my dad are divorced, so I don't think there's any chance of her telling him, not right now, at least. Oh, and my dad is catholic, but not a fanatic one.
    Anyway, I bet your gay party would be super cool, you would invite several Ellens, right? (!)
     
    #4 marisouza, Sep 29, 2014
    Last edited: Sep 29, 2014
  5. resu

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    He probably hasn't had much experience with gay people. Also, you need to keep talking to your mom. Try seeing if there's some Brazilian equivalent to "PFLAG" (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays") so she can talk to others about it. A lot of parents will try to just deny it; that's what my mom is doing now, even though I always push back and say I'm never going to be with a girl.
     
  6. Aberrant

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    I don't think my verdict is very desirable, but I wouldn't go for it. Especially if it's only been that young of a relationship and the other circumstance isn't well either.
    But what else could you do aside from that or just not doing anything? If you're going to study abroad, then it shouldn't matter unless you want to worry about coming back to a dysfunctional mess. And no one wants to do that, I think?
    Um, yeah.. Awkward.

    Let me join in the festivities of the party, please? =o
     
  7. marisouza

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    Yeah...I'll work that out with him, eventually. I've already looked up for something similar to a PFLAG around here, I couldn't find anything near my location tough, so, that sucks. But, I guess it'll be good with my mom, especially now that I've told my uncle, who is more of a father to me than my father, my uncle is totally supporting me, just like my friends. I could say that I've found myself some badass support, in case anything happens. :eusa_danc

    ---------- Post added 29th Sep 2014 at 08:39 PM ----------

    Yeah! That's exactly my dilema, I'll be fine abroad, but vacations will get weird, right? :confused:
    YOU CAN TOTALLY JOIN THE PARTY! YAAAAAA! :thewave:
     
  8. Aberrant

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    xD Haha. That's nice.
    I'm just going off-topic at this point. Hehe.
     
  9. marisouza

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    Ehh, whatever. Talkin about parties is way more cooler, anyways :icon_bigg
     
  10. Aberrant

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    If you insist.
    So what do you plan to do now that you have some idea?
     
  11. marisouza

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    I don't really know, haha. I'm feeling pretty good, my friends are actually helping me getting to know the gay side of my city, they're even helping me out at picking up cute girls! (not that I need help, I have some smooth moves, k? :lol:slight_smile:.
    They're soooo going to be invited to the party...