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My ex wants me back.

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by AJ Bee, Sep 30, 2014.

  1. AJ Bee

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    I'm so conflicted. Eleven years ago, I broke up with my amazing girlfriend because after over a year, I felt like I either needed to tell my parents about her, or leave. I left and moved across the country to marry a guy instead, hoping to live up to my parents expectations.

    Actually, I'd broken up with her once before that, for the same reason, but we got back together because I couldn't keep myself away.

    I kept in touch with her, I've talked with her every day over the past 11 years. Now that I've left my husband (for unrelated reasons) and am single again, she has made it clear that she wants to try again with me, even if it means her making the almost 2,000 mile move.

    While I love her like I've never loved anyone, the thought of her moving here scares me. I still haven't told my parents, and I'm no where near ready for that. I have already hurt her badly twice and the thought of me hurting her again terrifies me.. On the other hand I am afraid I'll never meet someone who could make me that happy.
     
  2. nathand

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    I think you should finally make her and yourself happy. I think that girl deserves something you can give her, even if it means telling your parents about both of you. Think about that a bit. Wish you luck and if you have the opportunity to be happy, which you have, than be happy!

    xoxo
     
  3. Rosepetal

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    agreed
     
  4. Mystory

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    this is incredible... eleven years!!! I cannot imagine someone still feeling the same way for someone else even after eleven years, even after having met so many other suitors, and even after having stared finality in the face (your marriage) and still not give up hope... This is truly something special, you should pursue it to all ends... I think you have to step back, and take a moment to absorb all of this- the fact that, even after 11 years, you two still have feelings for each other, however residual they may be. This is a very, very powerful friendship which has, as I assume, endured much over the years. I think you should chase after this, and see what comes of it.
     
    #4 Mystory, Oct 1, 2014
    Last edited: Oct 1, 2014
  5. greatwhale

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    A love like that doesn't come often!

    Now, for this love, what are you prepared to do? Yeah, it's scary as hell coming out to family and friends, but this; this 11-year relationship...what any of us here would give for something like that!

    King David wrote: "Life is as a passing shadow"; too short to miss out on an opportunity for a deep and abiding love. Damn the torpedoes! Full speed ahead!
     
  6. PatrickUK

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    It sounds like she has waited eleven years for you. That may not be the reality of the situation, but one thing is clear - she loves you very much.

    Feel the fear and do it anyway. You love her like you have never loved anyone and it's obvious that she feels the same way about you. She's prepared to uproot and move 2,000 miles to be with you. Can you see what I'm seeing?

    I came out to my parents over 15 years ago. Was I ready? No. Did it worry me? Yes. So why did I do it? Because I met someone I loved and he stood by me before and after I came out to my parents. He was my strength.

    Be honest with her. Share your worries and concerns with her - I think she'll want to be with you in spite of them and with that sort of love by your side you are capable of anything.
     
  7. Candace

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    You already proved that it could work (albeit it was eleven years ago). I think that if it's worth it, then go for it! You love her and she loves you. 2000 miles distance? Well, you can always move to her city and vice-versa.