Hey everyone! I am 22 with a huge decision to make. I met this girl in college and we've been dating for almost four years. I lost my virginity to her and fell very deeply in love with her. I enjoyed the sex, but always was curious about sex with men. Then, this past summer things got rocky between us and a guy that I have known expressed his interest in me. I had my first full out sexual experience with a man with him. So here's my dilemma. I don't know if I should stay with my girlfriend or go with this guy. I know that I have been unfaithful, and there is no excuse but i'm not looking for lectures on that. I don't know how to decide who I should be with. The guy lights a fire in me, but I care so much about the girl that I wouldn't want to devastate her. For some reason I can't orgasm with the guy, but with the girl it's no issue. That is important as well. If you have similar experiences or sound advice please point me in the right direction. I know ultimately someone's heart will be broken which is why this decision is so hard. He says he loves me, so does she. What do I do?
Perhaps, the best thing you can do, is to be with yourself. It seems to me that you are caught in this dilemma because of how the other two people feel (they both say they love you, she would be sad, he's expressed interest, etc.), rather than how you feel. Who says you have to choose one or the other?
The firestarter guy! Then get the girl to stay your friend with "benefits". How you'll manage that is beyond me though. Wait, wait, wait... In what way is the guy "lighting a fire" in you, if he can't even satisfy you (i mean... you know...)? Seems to me your reasons to remain with the girl are (apart from sexual), the fact that you don't want to hurt her feelings?! Uhm, okay, i have an idea, spend a whole week without seeing either one and then... at the end of the week, see, who you would want to see first, then that's the one you want to stay with. All that other "sex" stuff is something that can change. Follow your feelings, not your "toy"! ...or something like that.
The best thing in a relationship is communication. talk to your GF. I had a GF in college and was also afraid to tell her I was bi. Turned out her biggest fantasy was to see two men together.
Haha. Your gf sounds like me. But even though I have had two bi boyfriends, that is nothing I have witnessed. Also, they never witnessed me with a girl. lol. To the op: talk to your girlfriend. Open up to her about being bi. She may not mind. And she may not mind you having a male partner. You may not have to choose between them. No rule saying you have to choose. But then again, she may care about it. But you won't know until you talk to her. In any case if she ends up having a problem with you having a man in your life, then take the time to reflect. Think about what would make you happy pros and cons your girlfriend and this man has beyond sex. Sex is important, but if you want a relationship with some one, sex shouldn't be the deciding factor; it isn't the end all be all. Think about what qualities they have that makes you happy. Who makes your heart light up?
