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Crushes? Not sure where to find a forum x-x

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Mero, Oct 2, 2014.

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  1. Mero

    Mero
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    So yeah, I am not sure how relationships work...everyday at school I see students holding hands, kissing each other. I mean there's no restrictions to love right? As long as both parties have feelings (positive >w>) towards each other, that's considered affection...?
    Anyways back to the subject, I have a crush, but I don't know if he can return the same emotions back to me. The person that I adore is called Evan. He has been nice, and considerate towards me, but I do not know if this is just an act out of kindness. How do I know if he likes me is asking a bit much here, so how do I at least know if he's of the same sexuality? Are there clues that I may have been missing? :bang: :help:
     
    #1 Mero, Oct 2, 2014
  2. shinji

    shinji Guest

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    I'll keep this simple. Get outside the "mindset" that you must act in a certain way so as to "accommodate" those around you and protect your "secret".

    Quotes are fun!

    Anyway... Just allow yourself to be more flirty. Talk to this guy! Just don't be overly serious. When you two are talking if the mood is more "casual" and "friendly and... "not so serious" you could easily sweep questions such as "hey want to be my boyfriend" or comments like "you are cute", under the rug. Then if things get hot you can always go like " relax i was joking, lol".
     
    #2 shinji, Oct 3, 2014
  3. Mero

    Mero
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    Wow, thank you for replying >w<
    I will certainly try when I get the chance. I think currently I should just try to talk to him more, get closer with him and such. I really need to get out of my shell so I could see the world around me. I really want to admire him, and the realm I dreamed of.
     
    #3 Mero, Oct 3, 2014
  4. PatrickUK

    PatrickUK
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    The basis of any meaningful relationship is friendship, so work on that first. If you become closer as friends, you might find the opportunity to have a conversation with him about sexuality (could simply be about the sort of people he likes to date).
     
    #4 PatrickUK, Oct 4, 2014
  5. Mero

    Mero
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    I see...I'll keep this in mind. Sorry for not replying sooner but my agenda's been rather filled. Thanks for the info!
     
    #5 Mero, Jan 18, 2015
  6. wasgij

    wasgij
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    Some great advice above! My 2c,

    Other people don't know, either. If they say they do, they're bullsh***ing, or at least a little deluded when they fail to realise that everything is their personal bias and their knowledge might not apply to others.

    I hope this won't be considered an offensive comment, but isn't there anything that sets your "gaydar" off? Stereotypical things like body language or impeccable fashion sense? If you're afraid to ask directly, you could make a thinly veiled "ironic" comment in response to something. "You like cat gifs, are you gay??"

    Maybe the crush feeling is a bit like Dutch courage? Instead of fighting it and trying to "sober up", the idea is that you're supposed to be a bit silly and take more risks than you normally would?

    I would strongly advise against wanting or desiring a relationship -- it felt soul-destroying for me, and ultimately seemed self-defeating. It's as if fate paradoxically challenges us to the maximum extent possible, and if you desperately want a relationship, you will get denied. Besides, I felt SO much better after I got angry with myself and personally declared that I don't want a relationship, and that IF it happens, it would have to be unexpected, unforced, accidental, and basically they would have to find me.
     
    #6 wasgij, Jan 21, 2015
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