I'm...well, confused.

I'm a straight girl.
At least, I'm pretty sure I am. I've always been attracted to guys, and I've even kissed girls before, but felt nothing. It was fun, but I was never attracted to a girl before. Last year, I fell in love with my best guy friend, and he has a girlfriend, but I'm still holding onto hope. This year, a really cool and pretty and funny new girl came into school (I'll call her Molly), and she's a grade below me. She and my best friend (I'll call her Dina) (also a grade below me) became really quick friends so I figured I'd probably get along pretty well with her too. We became good friends really quickly, and had a lot of fun together, and then I started to notice, but not tell anyone, that I might have been a little attracted to her. I pretended that it didn't really exist.
I was in the middle of moving houses, and I was really stressed. One day, Molly texted me joking about how Dina and I were 'like married.' I jokingly agreed, because we do everything together. She then said, 'but I thought you were straight?" and I said 'only sometimes :icon_wink ' but I was only joking. She went on to tell me that a bunch of people in her dorm thought that I wasn't completely straight, and I flipped out. I was afraid that I was giving off some kind of "lesbian vibe" even though I really have no issue with lesbians. I think I got so defensive because I knew I kind of liked her. The next night I got really drunk (oops, sorry mom) and sent her a message that said "i sometimes like you" which I honestly meant in a platonic way, but really didn't seem that way. I talked to Dina about it, and she told me to just be honest with Molly, so I was.
I told her that I was in love with my best guy friend, and that I'm not a lesbian, and that she's the only girl I've ever been attracted to, and that I don't think I'd ever be able to tell people about it.
She said okay, and we started a...thing.
I'm so confused.

Well, that went on for a bit, and then a girl that I'm mentoring who lives in the same dorm as Molly sent me a text asking me if I like Molly, and asking me if I knew who she was hooking up with. I had a panic attack. Like, an actual one.
I don't even know why, but the thought of someone finding out scared me so badly that I couldn't handle it.
I talked to Dina, and we agreed that it wasn't fair to Molly. I mean, she liked me so much that she was willing to just sit by while I pretended I didn't like her, was all over my best guy friend, and pretty much flipped out about people thinking I was a lesbian.
I decided to end it with her, and just stay friends.
I tried to tell her that yesterday morning, but she talked me out of it somehow, saying that I'd hurt her either way, so I didn't stop things.
That afternoon, though, I told her that I didn't want to do that to her anymore, because I felt so awful, and I knew it would be better for her if we stopped. As much as I would have loved to just be selfish and keep on doing that, because I do like her, and I love spending time with her, I can't do that to someone. She is so sweet and said she just wanted to make me happy, but I couldn't just let her do that.

That's where my real problem starts. (Sorry, I know, that was a lot of background info.)

I know that she wants me to just date her, but I can't do that. It's not that I'm afraid of being bullied, because I go to a school that is super alternative and accepting, and the LGBT population is really big and no one really cares. I'm afraid of peoples opinion of me changing, and I'm afraid of being labeled, and I'm afraid that, If I start dating her, I'll realize that I don't really like her that way, and then I'll just be stuck with her, because I'll be too afraid to face it all on my own.

She also started telling me that my best guy friend was never going to leave his girlfriend, and essentially that I had no chance with him, and it really hurt when she said that. I know she was just trying to give me a reason to be with her, but I don't like that she would resort to hurting me to get what she wants...

I'm just so scared and confused, and I just want her to be happy, but I'm afraid of compromising my own happiness for hers, and I just think about the fact that I had an actual panic attack when I t=thought someone knew, how would I react if someone actually knew?
And I'm very self-conscious and embarrassed easily, and I usually care more about what people think about me than my own happiness, and I know that's awful, but it's just how I am.
I'm also scared of, if we break up, it will be impossible for me to get a guy after, especially my best guy friend, even though it is my last year and I'll be going to college soon.

Ugh, please help. I want to date her...kind of...but I'm also so scared of what people will think, and I'm scared of facing myself, and I haven't told my mom who I'm really close to, and I don't think I can, and I think maybe it's best if I just keep things broken off with Molly, but I already miss her and ugh :help: