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can you give advice to a guy who is 26 and virgin, never kissed girl, never dated...

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by lemons123, Oct 3, 2014.

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  1. lemons123

    lemons123
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    so here's the deal:

    i am a guy, mostly straight though i've been with 2 guys...but in reality i really like girls and i am sure about that. The thing is that i've never had anything more serious with a girl/woman other than a friendly convo or so. And as the title says i am 26, so too old to lack such experience.

    Obviously i am not doing something right or...just guys find me attractive?? i don't get it really but if you provide some ideas about what to do, I'll be immensely thankful :slight_smile:.

    It's ok for me to share more info....if anyone's interested.

    well thanks!
     
    #1 lemons123, Oct 3, 2014
  2. lemons123

    lemons123
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    Re: can you give advice to a guy who is 26 and virgin, never kissed girl, never dated

    pic? more info? will it help?
     
    #2 lemons123, Oct 3, 2014
  3. uniqueusername3

    uniqueusername3 Guest

    Re: can you give advice to a guy who is 26 and virgin, never kissed girl, never dated

    If you keep doing the same thing, you'll keep getting the same results.

    Time to be a little more adventurous perhaps? How about biting the bullet & chatting to that girl in the bar? Maybe widening your social activities a bit - maybe join a club or something?

    I doubt there's anything wrong with you - you may just need to modify your approach a bit. Have you tried talking to friends about this? There's nothing wrong with being honest about your situation - they may be able to give you some pointers.
     
    #3 uniqueusername3, Oct 3, 2014
  4. scub

    scub
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    Re: can you give advice to a guy who is 26 and virgin, never kissed girl, never dated

    too old? that is the best age to be. if guys find you attractive then i'm sure girls will too.. i'm definetly sure that isn't a problem but the lack of you putting yourself out there.. maybe chat online with others? maybe even craigslist or something similar? just make it known you are looking for friendship with the possibility of developing a closer relationship that will make things easier than just trying to find someone to sleep with and developing something. IMO friendship should be developed before a relationship happens.

    perhaps you haven't met the right guy either? don't get discouraged.
     
    #4 scub, Oct 3, 2014
  5. lemons123

    lemons123
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    Re: can you give advice to a guy who is 26 and virgin, never kissed girl, never dated

    ok thanks guys, encouraging words!
     
    #5 lemons123, Oct 4, 2014
  6. Chip

    Chip
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    Re: can you give advice to a guy who is 26 and virgin, never kissed girl, never dated

    Hi and welcome.

    Trying to work through and figure out where you stand on the orientation spectrum can be pretty daunting. One of the pieces that makes things most complicated is that for most people, being gay or being straight isn't a neutral outcome; in other words, most people would prefer to be straight.

    That's important because it can skew our self talk and beliefs.

    So with that in mind, you've had sexual experiences with guys, more than once, and presumably it wasn't awful, because you experienced it with more than one person. This indicates that there's at least some connection there.

    So one thing to explore is what sexual arousal thinking about guys feels like for you. As in, what is it like benig sexual with a guy, what does it feel like masturbating thinking about guys... And then, what does it feel like masturbating about girls.

    Another piece is, when you are wandering around a mall or pool or beach, where are your eyes wandering when you aren't paying attention? Guys? Girls? Both?

    It's really important to look at those things first and then look at how you feel about women. Many gay men absolutely love being around women and have a million female friends but have no real interest in sex with them.

    If you want to talk more about what's going in, we may be able to offer more complete insights.
     
    #6 Chip, Oct 4, 2014
  7. lemons123

    lemons123
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    Re: can you give advice to a guy who is 26 and virgin, never kissed girl, never dated


    Hi, thank you for the long message....

    yeah...well i am sure i prefer girls. Actually that's the least of my probs it seems :slight_smile:.

    But i guess it's just human nature to look for one leading factor. That is, just a single reason, or problem for anything - not just dating or sex. In my case i'd say there are a couple of things i need to fix not just something standing out above all - such as...me being gay but thinking i am not.
     
    #7 lemons123, Oct 4, 2014
  8. GrumpyOldLady

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    Re: can you give advice to a guy who is 26 and virgin, never kissed girl, never dated

    I've known quite a few guys who were inexperienced at your age, there's nothing wrong with it. It's easy to get the wrong idea from movies and tv and assume that everybody loses their virginity before they're 18, but that's not the case.

    It's actually much better to just be yourself, and you'll find someone who likes you for who you are and not what you're pretending to be.

    If you're a shy guy, could it simply be that men are more likely to make a move on you, so those are the people you notice? Most of the women I've known generally expect the man to take the initiative. They might give out signals, but those can be pretty subtle.
     
    #8 GrumpyOldLady, Oct 4, 2014
  9. lemons123

    lemons123
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    Re: can you give advice to a guy who is 26 and virgin, never kissed girl, never dated

    well during my limited experience with guys it was me who was the "mover" that is...the one who had initiated the flirt. Though sure, what you wrote sounds very rational...but again - it doesn't seem to be the case.

    so...just to add that now that i re-read my first message it sounds more negative that i wanted to :frowning2:...unfortunately. These days i am way more optimistic about life while the first message came out more like: "i am doomed, should cut myself" - kind of like the type of message you'd expect from someone very young and not adult...hmm i need to come up with something funny to make it up...like this:

    [​IMG]
     
    #9 lemons123, Oct 4, 2014
  10. Chip

    Chip
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    Re: can you give advice to a guy who is 26 and virgin, never kissed girl, never dated

    Ok, then. Perhaps it's just shyness. It's just unusual for straight guys to post on a gay forum if there isn't some question.
     
    #10 Chip, Oct 4, 2014
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