How to deal with break up... First BF

Honey, I'm sorry you are hurting. I won't "roll my eyes", I've been abandoned too. (*hug*)

It's hard, but I hope you'll remember that because you know he found you attractive, another boy will too.

 

Yes other men will think you are very sweet. I do understand how difficult it is to get over the hurt.

 

I know it hurts. (*hug*)

 

I would like to return the same advice you gave in another thread, but am too lazy to find it. It is a good advice though! You are still young, just don't dwell on it. Your next crush will be even better and you'll have better (new) experiences, etc... For the time being as a self proclaimed pharmacist, i prescribe ice-cream for two weeks, then start looking again!

 

Awe Hun, I am so sorry ~big hugs~ I can tell you did love him from the way you spoke of him in other threads and warned to give him special little presents. I'm sorry it didn't work out.

I think let yourself grieve first of all and then I think when you are ready.. Pick yourself up and move on. You are still really young and there will be plenty of time for romance in your life. There will be someone out there who loves you and wants you for you.. First loves are always hardest to get over though cause I think it's the most intense, we let our feelings run away from us cause we haven't got anything to compare it to and we don't know what it's gonna feel like when it ends. Just be patient and kind to yourself during this time.

 

One little step at a time, and be responsible for the direction your thoughts go in.

It's okay to think about him, and to be sad about it. But if you feel that your thoughts are getting dark, remind yourself that there is no reason to hurt yourself further. Once you've stopped the train of negative thought, then try redirecting the train. Try and make those thoughts happy.

You also want to make sure that this was a worthwhile part of your life. Try not to let the pain take away the good things he gave you. You get to keep those things and you really should!

It's going to be hard for a bit, but it'll get a little easier each day. Some day down the line you will be healed and will meet someone new. For now, you get to heal and remember to love yourself.

---------- Post added 4th Oct 2014 at 06:29 PM ----------

Also, for the immediate pain, distractions are your best friend. Spend time with other people you love in different ways. It will help you remember that you have lots of love in your life, and it will help you keep away from the spiraling bad thoughts.

 

Well Done! I'm proud of you. (*hug*)

 

I don't know the guy so can't say anything about how he'll react to a poem but... May i suggest giving him some time alone, so he can start "missing" you? Anything now would seem desperate and could possibly push him away. Or so i think.

 

I know it's hard Hun, but I think what you really need is time to wallow and grieve.. Get that ice cream and just let yourself wallow for a while and then you can start to decide how you wanna move forward.. I think you need to give him and yourself space and time to process it all right now. You sound like a very sweet and wonderful guy and it's sad to see you down like this, we are all here for you Hun.. Just take each day as it comes, and take it day by day and just think about what you said earlier.. About focusing on making yourself better, you are deserving of love and being cared for and that person will come along.. You just need to let yourself believe that you are worthy of someone else's love.

 

I'm really sorry this happened to you, especially by text message. I hear so often of people breaking up by text message and I think it's very cruel.

When a relationship ends it does hurt a lot. Many people use the words "broken hearted" to describe the feelings of loss and grief and it's that brokenness that needs to be repaired/healed. Take a little bit of time to come to terms with what happened, but also keep a check on your feelings so you don't sink too low. It's very easy to get stuck in a place where you hold on to all the negative emotions you described in your original posting and that will wound you even more. The idea is to begin to move forward, step-by-step, one day at a time through the grief process, not to remain there. I know it's too early to think in those terms right now, but if you do get trapped the power remains with the person who hurt you.

You did a good thing by posting on here and I'd encourage you to keep talking and venting. You have every right to feel upset and angry, so re-visit this thread if you need an outlet for it. We care. (*hug*)

 

My heart goes out to you mate, I know exactly how you are feeling. I went through something similar but under different circumstances last week with my first boyfriend who made me feel the same way you did. The best way to deal with it in my opinion is just cry and binge youtube for a few days with a mate. If that doesn't work just cry into some food and keep talking to people because it makes you feel better and stops you dwelling on it. If you don't have many friends take up guitar or find an obsession that will keep you occupied and stop you hurting.

If you need someone to talk to PM me, I am really busy at the moment but will do my best to reply and help you out! (*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)

 

One could say a month is nothing, but I've experienced the same thing and I was incredibly hurt too. I was actually thinking about the whole thing earlier today - I've been in my current relationship for a little over three months and put into perspective, the previous one that lasted a month was nothing indeed, BUT it did mean a lot to me, just like the guy who broke up with me did. The best thing is to give it time. Cry. Cry some more. And get over it. Because you can and you will. It can hurt for a couple of weeks, possibly even months. But you'll be fine. Look for distraction in the meantime. It's a cliche, but try a new hobby or something, or work out. It helps.

 

I didn't know what to do so I did it Hollywood style. Deleted his phone number, sent a somewhat angry email, ate some expensive iced screams (though with the shower-head off), then went through the whole 'he's such a douche' phase. Then after 3 days I came to terms that while I still love him, he's still young so he doesn't know what he wants. In your case, he might actually be busy but you shouldn't let the hope of him having more time rule ya, remaining friends included.

 

I think maybe the distance is the best thing for you both even if it hurts so much.. Just try to concentrate on other things for now, not him.. Cause if you keep waiting for texts, it is just gonna keep hurting even more.