I think I'm totally falling apart

I don't even know how to organize my thoughts to make this post.

Pretty much I had myself fully convinced that it was no big deal that I was bisexual. I never had a serious enough girlfriend to come out anyways. No one took bisexual people seriously so I always doubted if it was real. I was probably just seeking attention like other people. Besides my orientation would hurt my family who would be concerned for my soul. Why would I hurt them when I'm interested in men too? I can just date men and then no one is hurt. And I'm fine with that, not like I'm forcing myself to be with people I'm not attracted to, right? It didn't even matter that I was lying about this part of myself. It probably wasn't really a part of me anyways, it wasn't part of my identity. I was totally fine and happy and had it much easier than others with differing orientations.

Then later in life I just figured no one in my family needed to know about the girls I dated. Most of them had been friends of mine anyways so no need to explain that there was a romantic aspect. It's not like we were serious enough that we'd consider marriage or something. Besides, lots of people have secrets from their parents. We have our own lives and all that, right?

And then all of these beliefs that had kept me blissfully ignorant my whole life got torn away from me. My mom posted and article about a pastor saying that if his kids were in any way homosexual (and his definition of that was an amazingly all inclusive one), of course he would love them exactly the same. That would just be a part of who they are, and all he would want to pray for is that they would never have to be victims of the ignorant and hateful people in the world.

Every single line of the article brought on a fresh wave of tears, and a deep feeling of longing that was soul crushing. In a matter of 5 minutes, a lifetime of lies came falling down. The walls around this inside core of myself got blown to pieces. I've been crying intermittently for 2 days.

I am bisexual, and that actually is who I am. It's not an errant hobby or occasional interest, it is integral to me. It also hurts incredibly deeply that the people I love don't even know who I really am. It's like my entire life is a lie, an existence of duality. I've been through so much mental anguish. Depression, anxiety, you name it. I've seen a therapist, taken up meditation, and worked through every issue from my past to deal with it. Only now do I realize that a major central core to all the issues I have faced in my life has been this denial of my identity and the duality it has created in my life.

I have no idea what to do or think. I think I'm collapsing in on myself and I'm just going to fold right out of existence. I have no idea who to talk to or how to feel in any way better. So I guess I'm asking in very many words for someone to please help me.

And I'm sorry if this is rambling my brain can't stop spinning in absurd circles