First thing, cool idea for a site. I was kinda hoping to use this thread as a journal you know, vent. Respond if you want lol. So I'm a freshman in college and although it can't be confirmed just yet (even though it pretty much is) I'm probably bi. I was slightly nervous about having college roommates. The way the dorms are set up, you have 1 roommate but the two of you share a "quad" with 3 other rooms. So really I'm living with 7 guys, or 7 potential crushes. My roommate is cool and has a nice butt, but no. Then there's one guy in our quad that we all think is most likely gay. BUT of course I fall for the one that I can't get a read on. He makes me so nervous and I usually don't get like that with people. And what's bad is he can tell that he makes me nervous but I don't think he understands why...or does he? I could just YOLO it and tell him I like him. But I'm not ready to disclose my interest in guys to anyone yet. So we're a month into school and I'm still trying to decide whether I should go for it or not. But how can I tell whether he likes me too? Here are 4 reasons I think he's at least a little into me: 1. I catch him looking at me A LOT, specifically down around my naval and crotch areas. It's not like a stealthy type looking either. Twice now I've watched him watch my crotch area while I was in boxer briefs. But he doesn't react to me catching him EVER so I'm like "You checking me out or?..." He seems to look at me a lot in general and we've had several instances where we ended up looking into each other's eyes while watching TV or playing xbox with the guys. 2a. One thing I dislike about him: he's cryptic in nature. His words, his facial expressions, his thoughts, his actions...all unreadable. We all make a lot of gay jokes but his sarcasm and humor are so casual like I can't even...He also looks at me differently than he does the others it seems. Like he's searching me for something. He always gives me these sexy half-smiles too when we make eye contact. And he's hesitant when he talks to me and we're alone. 2b. ^Why is it important that I can't read him? Because he makes a lot of "weird" comments towards me and I can't ****ing tell if he's serious or not. A running joke is that he has a stable of "side chicks" (despite him saying he's a virgin and has never had a GF) because we all agree he's good-looking and he seems to have like a million females in his contacts. One time while eating lunch I joked around saying I wish I could get a side chick and he says, "You're really sexy so I'm sure you can do it. Just go and get you one." No laugh afterwards, no follow-up, no "Just kidding" or "no homo". Just looked at me with a sexy little half-smile and kept eating. WHY? He says stuff like this a lot and only to me as far as I can tell. 3. Apparently, he has no problems being horny around me. I guess Breaking Bad makes him hard or something but when we watch Breaking Bad on Netflix as a group, I always seem to catch him with an erection. I sat next to him on the couch one time and saw him flex it. Couldn't tell whether he meant to do it or not, but I'm sure he knew I saw it. I've also gone into his room to find him in his pants playing with a hard one (does he do this in front of his roommate???). And no, my presence doesn't stop him. He's gotten up out of his bed to talk to me with a boner. Dude doesn't care. 4. But he does care. He cares about me, like for real. Anything negative that happens within the quad, he either doesn't comment on or makes a witty/playful but insensitive comment. Like my roommate had a stomachache and all he has to say is "Dude, just take a dump and shut up about it." Obviously we're all friends so he doesn't mean it and does actually care. But the world falls to pieces if something happens to me. Even others have noticed how concerned he gets if I'm not feeling well. I had a headache one night and he not only asked a bunch of questions but went out to get me some aspirin, made sure I took it, then before he went to bed he checked up on me. Then in the morning he asked if I was OK. A bit weird maybe? ---------- Post added 8th Oct 2014 at 01:03 PM ---------- IDK I'm trying to get more and more friendly with him, you know get to that "best friend" level. He seems pretty OK with being touched as long as he isn't tickled (hilarious torturing him with tickling btw) so I may get more and more touchy too. He's just sooo confusing. He's unbelievably laid back but still manages to intimidate me. I'm thinking about trying to get some quality alone time with him. Good idea or no?
Welcome to EC! Yes, this is a great site to share your thoughts, and I found it was very useful for me to keep track of how far I've come. Of course, the mystery of a guy's sexuality can make him even more attractive. I remember having so many crushes on guys when I was an undergrad and grad student. You can't help it with all these guys being so fit and more open to try new things. I strongly suggest you join your college's LGBT resource center and get some gay friends. It will help you out in the long run to have a support group, not to mention making connections to potential partners. I didn't do any of that because I lived with my parents. I regret that decision. Well, it does seem like he's a great choice for a friend since he's comfortable with you, but you must remember that sometimes your mind can play tricks on you because you pay so much attention to him. One piece of advice is to see how he observes around other guys, especially if he sees a really attractive guy (watch his eyes!). Also, if he's willing to play with you by saying you're sexy, why don't you return the favor? That's how flirting works. You should try to hang out with him one-on-one, away from the prying eyes of the other roommates. Just normal friend stuff so that you can get to know him, where he comes from, where he's going. It's a "you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours" relationship. If he's gay, then maybe he's using the "side chicks" as beards. If he's straight, he may just be very comfortable in his masculinity (not a bad thing, IMO). Ultimately, it's in your best interest to eventually come out to him (sooner is always better so you don't get so infatuated) and then tell him you like him. Try to figure out his opinions on LGBT issues in the meantime.
It does sound like there's potential. It seems he has no problem being open around you, so unless you feel comfortable coming out to him outright and expressing how you feel then maybe you should just reciprocate his actions and expressions towards you enough to make him realise that he can pursue you if he wants.
Sounds like a catch. I think it's a good idea to have some quality alone time with him. Agreed with Resu about the flirting. Flirt back I suggest you know him a bit more before being all "I like you, wanna do it?" kind of chat. After all, it's the whole ordeal of being flirtatious with each other, and the mixed signals that make the prize so much more good Keep us updated and good luck
