I just want to preface this post by saying how pleasantly surprised and extremely grateful I am to have found this community. My real life experience (with lesbians, in particular--and the religious, but I obviously didn't expect to find many of them here) has been one of a lot of judgement and every time I've posted here I've braced myself for that same distaste to permeate any responses I get, and have been so relieved to have only received understanding and support. So: thank you! I've only been in one real relationship with a girl, and at that point I wasn't out and was still feeling very ashamed of my sexuality so we didn't spend a lot of time around other lesbians or submerse ourselves much in that "culture". Our relationship ended solely because I was too scared to tell my family about us. I just say all of that to give you an idea of my background and my inexperience and to explain why I'm asking this question because I think it might seem naive or silly. Basically, my question is: in a girl-girl relationship, is the "butch" usually older? (Okay, I know that not ALL lesbian relationships can be simplified down to being between a butch and a femme but in my currents situation I'm more of a femme, I have a crush on a girl that's more butch, and I'm quite a bit older). What kind of age differences do you usually see in the lesbian community? Is it pretty much the same as the straight community where the couples are generally within a couple years of one another? Thanks in advance.
I actually never thought of that. I think that the ideas of gender roles in a same-sex relationship is a bit...foreign? It seems strange to me, actually. But, as I think about it, in my life (I know four lesbian couples), in most of them (3), the one that is more 'butch' is actually the younger one. I think it just kind of happens rather than filling in a role. Side note: Welcome to the community here!
I just found this and the title made me laugh. It also told me what I wanted to hear (as did you, kaylen): An Age Difference Formula For Homos - Butch Wonders
Wow a 15 yr old kid is dating a 55 yr old woman and 68 yr old man is dating a 22 yr old ,a boy who was 16 at 2013 dating a 31 yr old wow .
I read the article and I'm surprised really young people like 15 yr old girl who is lesbian would consider dating a 55 yr old lesbian woman.
My fiancée identifies as butch and I'm more a soft butch and she's almost 6 years younger than me so no, I don't think that's anything to worry about.
