yesterday I & my friend went to buy clothes and it was the first day I enter the boys' section and buy clothes from there, it was the best day. I made my friend go back home with me so she will convince my mom with the clothes I bought. when we went home and mom saw the clothes, she complained and said that I should return it back, my friend tried to convince them as much as she can, then suddenly my friend talked about her mtf cousin and my mom got shocked that there's sucha people. and she started to wonder about me and while me and my friend sat aside, my sister showed mom pics and articals about transpeople and that they suicide in last. after an hour my friend asked to talk to mom alone with me and told her that I want to be a boy, my mom started to scream and said that im lesbian and insane and should be killed and that I don't deserve to live or anything. my friend and my twin tried to calm her and she just kept shouting and said : you are complete girl, you menstruate and have boobs , you are a girl!!!!!! I told her my brain doesn't think so and i'm not a complete girl and you know it, my male hormons are much more higher than my female ones. shee said : no , you won't change ! you are a dyke and these things and she kept crying so is my other sister. they were all against me, my sister told me to go my room, I went and my dad heard my mom's screaming , he saw me crying and said whats wrong , I told him: for 17 years dad am trying to cope with being a girl, but I Can't anymore. i hate it when people say is it a boy or a girl. he started to cry also and said : no no no, you are beautiful and every guy wants you. I told him I don't wanna be a girl. he slapped himself and said: omg no no, you want people to say we are crazy family you dont want your sisters get married? (they only care about themselves) he also said: no you are my daughter, dont say that. its just a thought. then he said: you wanna us dead, huh? do you? after some mins my mom came and said that ''my friend'' is the one who put this idea in my head and i should break up my frienship with her and she also called her lesbian and freak.. my also said that she dreamed theres a green snake in our house and my friend was wearing a green blouse. my friend left and my family kept calling me crazy and insane and i should be in mental hospital and that they will disconnect the internet, because it putted those ideas in me. after couple of hours, my dad took me ooutside and said: look, you are a girl and you its just a thought and you are perfect and so beautiful and alot of guys would like to marry you and date you, blah blah. he also made up a story about a guy wants me. the thing is now, they are in a big denial and act like nothing happened, I'll live in this cage forever, and if I mentioned it again, they will kill me ;'( idk what to do . they will even send me to therapist. I swear i tried to explain them everything and they aren't listening they even said: you are cursed and god hates you. it's blasphemy. I can't live as a girl forever, I'll die either way. :bang::icon_sad:
I'm so sorry for the way your family reacted. :tears: Are u able to live on your own, or maybe you could live with a friend for a while? Either way, it doesn't sound like they want you in thier lives at the moment. As soon as I could, I would leave, not talk to them for a while, and if they are still in denial and are like that, u could try to hang their relationship with you over them, and say that either they stop being so cruel and actually admit to themselves that you can't help who you are, that you were born this way, and actually be nice about it, then ull just leave them forever, and if they want you to come back, theyll have to wisen up. My, and every one elses thoughts are with you to hope that things will get better soon. (*hug*)
DO NOT KILL YOURSELF!! Seriously, no one gains anything good from your death so stop thinking like that. You are 17, almost a legal adult. Spend the next year or so trying to find a way to become financially independent so that you don't have to live with your emotionally abusive parents.
Just a thought... Therapist doesn't sound bad, if he is a good one. Since, you can tell him everything and he can then speak to your parents and basically, tell them how wrong they are and help them accept you. Maybe, if an adult told them, they might "snap" out of it? As for now, i'd just ignore their "opinion" and live the way you want to. In a few years, i'm guessing you will be able to work something out and move out of there. As for them, blaming your friend... Well, you know how things go, it's easier to blame someone else than to blame yourself. But why should they blame someone, you ask? Well, the five stages of grief and all that. Denial - basically, everything up to the moment you told them. Anger - the situation that occurred after you told them. Bargaining - telling you, who you should be and all that. Depression - all this, "let's just not talk about it" crap. Acceptance - something that will come, if they don't go back to square one. You need to understand that some people, live such boring lives that, information like this can shake them up pretty badly since it's, not something they were expecting/are used to and it "pushes" them out of their comfort zone. Your parents need time to process all this, and you should not stay mad at them, it's just... people are stupid like that. Not an excuse, but... yeah.
(*hug*) I'm sorry things have turned out this way, but you must always remember that there are people who care. All of us here care, and we don't want to see you hurt yourself in any way. No matter what you have friends on this site who will help you as much as they can and will never judge you. You can be as much of a boy as you want here and no one minds I hope things get better for you soon
Seriously don't make a hasty decision based on others opinions . Try and chill for a bit ( I know that may seem insensitive for me to say ) . I know part of the whole family dynamic you're living in, just not as bad , since it's different actually living there . Ente helwah no matter what , ok. #rosepetal move out ? Ye, uh there's no moving out for a 17 y o chick in Egypt . Especially after she's come out, srsly ? I've read some stuff you've wriiten before and I had assumed you seemed to know ALL about being entrenched in M E culture , etc. course I also know some other stuff but I'll stfu It's just kind of ignorant to say : I'd move out .
