Have you ever felt like an embarrassment?

I've been out as trans to my family for about two years now. They took the news particularly well although they still have not fully accepted me. The only thing they are not okay with it my chosen name. They still call me my birth name to my face and amongst themselves with female pronouns may I add. They say they will never call me anything else but I plan to change that because I'm going to be legalizing my name and will force this upon them. However, I feel like yes, they are okay with me and how I identify now but that I'm this sort of embarrassment in the family. If they don't acknowledge it, it doesn't exist I feel is their mentality. Have you ever felt like this, (whatever your identity or sexual orientation)? How did you deal with it?

 

I've never been one to speak up. So when they said they wouldn't change what they called me I figured maybe I just had to let it sink in with them, give them time to come around even though it hurt and still continues to. I figured that I couldn't MAKE them do anything they didn't want to and that maybe I could live with it. But I can't. So seeing as my chosen name isn't legal yet I guess they feel they have no reason to call me it. But once it is legalized, I'm going to push them a little harder.