So i have this friend who i think is gay (he doesn't yet know i am) but i'm not sure and i dont just want to ask him because he is a good friend (i don't want to date him) it would just be nice to have someone who is going through the same thing i am. Should i ask him to come to a gsa meeting to hang out? i don't think he has ever dated or really had interest in girls. and the other day we were working on a school project in english and i rested my head on his shoulder for like 15 secs and he did not try to shrug me off. anyway i could be completely wrong but i kinda wanted to rant and see peoples opinions.
I think if he is a similar age to yourself and if he is possibly questioning his own sexuality, it is probably not such a good idea to force him out of the closest before he is ready. It is really hard to base what you think of someone on assumptions, cause that is all it could be assumptions. There might not be any truth to it at all. I think first thing would be to maybe have a discussion about LGBT issues.. Maybe bring up an article you may have seen on marriage equality or the recent decisions to allow same sex marriage in different places and you can both discuss your thoughts and opinions on the issues. While it is always a good thought to think we have someone the same age going the the same thing, what you need to realize is.. Everyone comes out at different times and if he is possibly questioning, he might not be at that stage where he is ready for anyone to know. Also, when is was around 14, I never had much interest in men or dated in high school and it wasn't cause I was questioning or considered myself bi then, it was simply cause I wasn't interested in dating at that time.
I wouldn't do anything like ask "Are you gay?" but you could come out to him if your ready, or just ask if he wanted to go see what the GSA was like or something along those lines.
Until you're ready to come out to him, I don't think you should pry or hint or anything that might make him uncomfortable. Being forced out of the closet when you're not ready can be incredibly traumatic.. If you did come out to him, however, he might realise that you're someone he can talk to about his sexuality (if he was gay). For now, just play it by ear and respect his potential closet status.
Come out to him... Problem solved! No, really... It's like the easiest way to find out if someone is gay. You come out to him and then if he is (and ready), he will come out to you. It's simple human nature. Just make sure to do it when you two are alone. Just don't make it into a big deal when you tell him. Talk about stuff, push the "topic" towards girls and then go like "oh, by the way, i'm gay". Smile a bit and wait for the "shock" to pass, then if he still is silent, just continue talking about what you were talking about.
Yeah, I think coming out to him is probably the best way to find out. But be prepared that a lot of people at your age haven't figured out their sexuality, or if they're questioning they might not be ready to come out. But I think if he is bi/gay/whatever he's most like to tell you if you come out to him. Just try to come out to him as if it's not a big deal. Do it pretty casually. it's best if you can start the topic a bit before coming out rather than just saying "I'm gay" out of the blue. Good luck and let us know how it goes
