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I need help (heartbroken)

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Hylian, Oct 13, 2014.

  1. Hylian

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    Hey there. My name is Terese, a 24 year old girl from Norway. After I watched a show called "The Real L word" it gave me the guts to come out. I'm in love with a girl that I've known for about 3 years now, and she's the most amazing girl ever. We had an relationship that lasted those 3 years, but it was kind of a secret, never official.
    But we loved each other so much.
    Then about a year ago,everything changed, she met someone else, a guy, and fell in love with him. Now they're engaged, and everything feels like hell. I have such strong feelings for her, and I love her so much. Can't believe this happened.
    It breaks my heart. I miss her so much, I would have done everything for her.
    I know that she's sad, and she never wished to hurt my feelings, and that she never wanted to lose the feelings she had for me.
    I know its wrong, but I blame him, if he hadn't showed up, we had been engaged by now.


    So I just wanted to ask for someone else's opinion, what do I do? Should I just forget about her, move on and let her go, or still fight for her?
    I know it sounds stupid, I care about her a lot, and want her to be happy, and I don't want to mess up the relationship with her boyfriend or anything. I know the right thing to do is to leave them alone, and I have for the past year. But my heart still hurts so much, I have no idea what to do. Even after a year, things arent better.

    What should I do?
     
  2. OnTheHighway

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    Hylian, from my experience, I would suggest moving on. If you do not, you may go on for years with doubts and regrets. Start anew. Leave her behind. There are a lot of fish in the pond. My advice may sound harsh, but it is a bitter pill to swallow.
     
  3. Blossom85

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    I think the fact she is engaged to another man and has fallen for someone else, you sadly just need to let go and move on I think.. I can empathize very much.. My ex left me for someone else and I had trouble letting go for a while, but eventually I did and although her betrayal still hurts, I am feeling much better now.

    You should only fight for someone who wants to be fought for and it seems like she is happy with the man she has chosen to be with. I know she would be feeling sad she has hurt you as I am sure that was not her intentions, I am sure it is not anyone's intentions to hurt someone like that but we can never predict these things..

    Blaming him is not the answer, you don't know for sure you would still be together and the what if game isn't a good game to play at all.. You can't help who you fall for either. I am sorry you are hurting so much and are in so much pain, having your heart broken is a terrible feeling, so I am really sorry.. But I do think letting go and moving on is the best thing for you.. Leave the past in the past and focus on you.. Focus on what you can do to make yourself happy and feel fulfilled.. Open your heart to the possibility of letting someone else in once you are healed and feeling better, but take your time, and just know that the great love of your life is still out there and if you keep being hung up on her, then you won't ever meet her.
     
  4. Sek

    Sek
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    I think USUK and Blossom85 have pretty much hit the nail on the head. It is really sad that this has happened to you, but it does happen.

    The best thing to do now is forgive her and her boyfriend and move on. Anger/yearning are obsessive emotions that will leave you constantly thinking about the person. No one can move on if that's the case. When you forgive them for what happened, you'll accept the situation and let it lie. For now, distract yourself with friends and work. Before you know it, you'll meet someone else - I'm a big believer in things happening for a reason, hope you are too! :slight_smile: