Hey guys, I'm new to Empty Closets so please be gentle on me if I place this post in the wrong section of the forums I'm 20 and my boyfriend is 24. He's called Jake, and he is so sweet and adorable. He's perfect. Kind, cute, etc. However, our sex life has become slightly dull. We started having sex 1 year into our relationship (5 months or so ago). All we do is have oral and then proceed to anal. I am a total bottom and he is a total top, so the issue there is irrelevant. I feel that our sex has become boring and I wish to spike it up. We've done certain things in the past such as me riding him and using sex toys, even to the point of me dressing in costumes for him.(We're weird) I have a fetish for bondage :icon_redf The idea of being handcuffed and then having sex just thrills me (This is embarrassing :icon_redf) I once mentioned it to him, he said that he didn't want to hurt me (He's really strong compared to me + taller) However, I know he is a gentle spirit and won't hurt me but he still won't follow through with this :bang: I know that he isn't against bondage, Once he went out with a few friends and I was left home alone. I decided to use his laptop and ended up finding 'Bondage gay porn' on his laptop:icon_redf ^^ How do I convince him? :help::help:
I've got no idea how these things work but what if you sat with him before doing anything and sort of plotted everything thing out - I know, exciting, eh? Maybe if you start off pretty tame and he knew more or less exactly what was going to happen, he'd be more comfortable. He could use his less dominant hand only so that he'd not have access to all his strength. (I'm really just winging it here.)
There is not a thing in this post that couldn't be said directly to him as blatantly as it is phrased here. Communicate these feelings to him. With that being said, there is a strong difference between the tastes of many people when it comes to pornography and real life. It is easy to be excited by certain pornographic acts because it is fantasy and it has little to do with the actual viewer. It is definitely possible that his personal tastes could be far more tame, especially if he is naturally very tame and gentle with his partners. I would recommend going out and purchasing a few lighthearted items that you are interested in using in the bedroom. He is probably going to be uncomfortable if your randomly installing chained harnesses and turning the bedroom into your personal S&M dungeon overnight. Introduce him to a few things that you want to try out and he will show interest in moving forward if they are things he could see himself being into.
