As an Uncle, when should my nieces/nephews know I'm gay?

They're much, much less likely to pick up & much more likely to challenge prejudices knowing their uncle is gay. Also, while it's right to stay away from judging people for their parenting methods, when parents adopt this approach of hiding the world from their children, serious stuff can often go unspoken. Having an open, friendly uncle to confide in, someone who sees the world in a different way can be a real gift.

If you're able to, without risking being shut off from contact, then I'd say pop the bubble. It's profoundly unfair of them to ask you / assume that you will hide your sexuality.

 

I told my nieces and nephews at a relatively young age--it was made easier though because there was a partner to talk about. I still remember a conversation I had with one of my very young nieces. We were talking about orderliness and how she likes all her things just so and she was asking me if I was like that and I said I wasn't super neat but I was pretty clean and than she asked me "and is your... (and then she screwed her face up and you could just see her struggling to remember the right word)... partner clean?" I responded that he was, indeed probably cleaner than I. She said she thought that was good. She figured it would be hard to live with someone who was a lot messier than you were. I just thought it was so adorable that the whole two boys thing sailed right past her and the potential relationship problem she foresaw was that one of us might be super-clean and one of us super-messy.:lol: In my experience kids get it unless their taught not to.

 

Screw that being age appropriate. If equality is equality you have as much of a right to tell them who you really are as their parents have to tell them about the birds and the bees. If that makes sense. They are kids, and they are young enough to not have any prejudices yet. If you tell them now you can make them more open minded and less prejudiced, possibly even helping open their parents minds. In short you should tell tell them if you know there won't be any great fall out. Your brothers and sisters will be a little mad but if that is it then it is totally worth it.

 

I can see how you are in a conflicting situation. You don't want to create unrest in your family, yet you also want to be open and honest with your nieces and nephews.. I honestly think those ages are fine ages to be told their uncle is gay. Some kids as young as those ages are coming out themselves, so if anything I think it shows a little more acceptance and teaches them to be more accepting of it.. If they know their uncle is gay, they maybe more inclined to not listen to the hate and misconceptions about the LGBT community, they will see their uncle is no different to the uncle they have always known.

I think ultimately it is your call.. If your nieces and nephews have a close bond with you, then I think it won't matter.. I think you should talk to your siblings and maybe ask them why they feel the children they are raising aren't going to be able to handle the news. I think they are underestimating their own children, kids are really smart and If they are raising them to be accepting of all people, then is don't see what the issue is at all. If any of you nieces and nephews are questioning their own sexuality, then knowing their uncle is gay might be the encouragement and hope they need as well especially if they feel the rest of the family isn't going to be accepting, it will be at least nice to have someone in their family that they know who is gay and will support them.

 

I would bring your partner to the next family event. Just do it as a surprise. there will be a bit of discomfort at first, but it pretty much gets it out there. Just my two cents.