Yet again, I've managed to get myself in a stupid situation :dry: I've been talking to a guy, let's call him S for the sake of this post. So I started talking to S after he posted a status on Facebook telling people that they should support gay right and that it's not wrong to talk to gay and bi lads. After I'd liked that, he went throigh my profile and liked about 15 posts all at once. Then he popped up on messanger basically saying hello. We get on great, but he is flirtatious in my eyes. Started off with kisses, then bath tub snapchats, then calling me 'babe' and 'hun', even sending winky faces on snapchat with his upper body showing. The thing is, despite the flirting, he actually has a boyfriend. Which to me is strange. Now I'm really confused- why does he act like that when he's in a relationship? >< even after he told me he misses his boyfriend (he had his phone took off him after coming out to his mum, she wasn't happy with it, long story), he still called me those names, used winky faces, used 5 kisses etc. I'm really not so good with situations like this tbh. I've also heard contradicting things about him. A couple of my friends say he's a really nice person etc., then a couple said he is the player type and not very nice. He's really nice to talk to though, so that also confuses me- is he trying to use me or string me along, or is he being friendly? I otherthink too much :eusa_doh: So I need to know what to say to him. He could tell I was feeling down Monday night, he said he's here for me and to talk tomorrow (which was yesterday). I didn't bother, but I need to let this out before it bottles up, I'm too much of a worrier. I don't know what to say, as I don't want to make things awkward with him; I'd still like to talk to him in a friendly way seeing as something probably won't happen as of now with us, but at the same time I want answers. Help!
I totally understand this situation on so many different levels. I think the healthiest thing to do would be to stop talking to him because he's 100% flirting with you and if you don't, I can't imagine the relationship going anywhere but to some sort of romance which sounds like would inevitably leave to heartbreak (based on his behavior with you while in his current relationship, and some of your friends' assessment of him as a "player"). I also think that you won't stop talking to him because it feels so good to have the attention and someone like that can almost become like a drug. So, I think the next best option is to be honest and ask him for some answers. You can absolutely just come right out and say what's going on. He's definitely flirting with you, so you don't need to worry about coming off as arrogant or anything. I'd honestly just say something along the lines of, "Look, I really like you and I'm getting the impression based on [insert examples of pictures sent, nicknames used, etc. here] and I know you have a boyfriend so I'm just wondering where you're hoping this relationship is going and what you're ideally looking for from me?" And then, based on his answer, you can decide what you want. Would you be comfortable being a side piece? If he wanted to break up with his boyfriend, and pursue a relationship with you, would you be able to trust him? Even if you're not sure if you could trust him, would you be willing to give it a shot with him? My guess is he'll say that he likes you and talk about some of the issues he's having in his current relationship with you and then kind of string you along for a while and if you're emotionally okay with just being his guy on the side and you get to have some of the emotional and sexual benefits without having to fully commit, then that's AWESOME.
Thanks for all that :') It's a rubbish situation to be in really. I don't think I'll stop talking to him, I'm too nice for that really and I hate having to be like that with people, as good as it would be. I will talk to him tonight about it (I'm actually talking to him now haha), I just hate having to be confrontational to people like this because I'm conscious that I'm going to come across the wrong way or something. I don't know :dry: I really wouldn't like to be a side piece though, one thing I like in a relationship is intimacy and closeness and I don't think that would work. Funnily enough, he doesn't seem to have any issues with his current boyfriend, which is strange. Thanks again
