Hi Hoping you can provide me with some advice... I currently have feelings for my straight housemate....he and 1 other person are aware I'm bi but he is not aware of the feelings I have for him. I have tried to suppress how I feel but really struggling recently to live with him as he I get jealous when he is texting girls/having girls over. The issue is I don't know if I can continue to live with him as I find it too uncomfortable, but don't want to ruin the friendship (we have the same small group of mates) as will be really awkward to ask him to leave without telling him why and it's not his fault I feel like this. As housemates go he is great! Any suggestions on how to address this so I can move on??
Since he knows you're bi, then he must know the possibility you could fall for him. I think it's best to get things out in the open and make the hard decision to reveal your feelings. Do that before you just reject him first, which will hurt even more. Tell him that you still value your friendship and don't want to ruin it, but holding it in is making you feel worse.
I think resu is right. You should tell him about your feelings before you make a decision. In that case, you would avoid ruining your friendship. He'll probably understand you.
Ugh I know how you feel. I like one of my good friends who is straight.. It kills me. I'm still trying to figure out what to do. I'm considering distancing myself but it's kinda hard. Let him know how you feel and see how things go on from there..
I went through this issue with my current roommate (we've lived together 6 years and she is smoking hot) and I dealt with it by ignoring it. I did that because I spent a long time fantasizing about telling her how I felt and then her accepting it and us being happy together forever. Your basic fairy tale ending. However, I decided that I would give it some time and do a lot of analyzing my feelings to see if they changed or remained consistant. What I discovered was that, yes, I had fallen for my straight roommate, but she had made it clear she saw me as a sister and nothing else so if I moved forward with the way I was feeling it would push her into a situation that she shouldn't have to deal with. It wasn't fair to her and it wasn't fair to me to be crushing so hard on someone I couldn't have so I ignored the feelings until they faded. I still think she's the hottest chick on the planet, but I now love her in a platonic way and that is good enough for me. I understand that our two situations are different and that your friend might be receptive (unlike my roommate) so definitely talk to him and see what he has to say, but I would stress that you are willing to accept his decision and not press the issue if he rejects you. Also, if he does tell you he isn't interested don't take it personally and don't let it ruin your friendship. There are other ways to divert your attention until your love for him diminishes. If he does accept your attraction then congrats!!
Thanks for all your advice. Think I need to tell him, just need to find the right moment! Really don't think he'll reciprocate but can't go on like this!
Trust me, it's better to rejected because someone can't love you rather than someone who chooses not to love you. That's even more difficult to bear.
